My husband, Richard and I became Christians at different times in our lives. Neither one of us grew up in a "Mother and Father both sold out" Christian home. My mother sent my sisters and I to Vacation Bible School and we attended church for a brief time, but I did not learn what it meant to surrender my life fully to God. I gave my heart to Jesus Christ at the age of fourteen through the witness of a friend at school, but because I didn't have any strong Christian friends, a church home or youth group; I never grew past my commitment. I met Richard when I was fourteen and he was sixteen at a high school basketball game. Except for a six month period of time we were inseparable! When I was seventeen, my parents began the process of a very painful divorce, in which court battles lasted for more than seven years! Richard's parents also began the process of divorce at nearly the same time. In all that chaos, we figured that the best thing we could do was "get" married!
The first five years of our marriage was extremely rocky! We just didn't know how to "do" marriage! We had no skills! Communication, what's that? We didn't know how to do that either! We loved one another, but didn't know "how" to love one another if that makes sense!
Richard was saved at the age of twenty-four through the witness of two men that he worked with and his sister who was saved in college and was, at the time, serving God through Campus Crusade for Christ. I rededicated my life to Christ and at that point in our lives, we were changed. We knew that God had a purpose for our lives and for our children's lives, who were about one and three years of age. We knew that we had a lot of work to do and gracious, so much to learn! I can remember Richard and I sitting at our kitchen table making a list of people/friends we knew who we would want to model our marriage after. We came up empty... We tried to list couples characterised as being an example of godly parents that we wanted our lives to resemble. We came up with two!.. Well, it was a start!
At that time in our lives, we "mentally" cut the chains of bondage from our family tree including anything or anyone that could hold us back from living our lives fully for Christ. When I mean mentally, I mean the negative things that we learn growing up that just become second nature to us all. We inherit these family characteristics, "ways of thinking"... or mannerisms and pass them on to innocent by-standards generation to generation! The Bible refers to it as Generational Sin... Sometimes people never stop and wonder how all of the chaos worked out for those who passed it on to them! Of course, most people don't contribute their own problems to generational sin either. However, negative consequences are not very good! We wanted a new start! We wanted to take the positive, get rid of the negative, search the scriptures and let God guide us in replacing the negatives with positives! We wanted all the old to pass away and all things to become new! God transformed our hearts and lives... Oh, the stories that I could tell of the things God has done in our lives through the years!
I have to say that we are still in the process of building. A marriage is a work in progress! We haven't "arrived," by no means, but we are walking hand in hand! : ) We struggle with the flesh many days...
All of us have issues- some private- some public... There's this sin nature in us all that even through redemption- still finds sin. Satan wants nothing more than to destroy covenant relationships and a marriage is a covenant relationship between husband, wife and God. His targets are marriages and family! Marriage is work and when two people are truly committed to God is when success rates are at their highest! Richard has quoted this many times to people we speak with: He begins with- "Making a marriage work is not a "he gives 50% and she gives 50%." That's not the deal, it's a 100/100 percent deal! You can't get stuck in the 50/50 way of thinking- "I'll do my part as long as they do theirs! That's setting yourself and your marriage up for failure because we all are going to disappoint at one time or another!! When one of us having a bad day, the other one is supposed to be there for support to pull the other one along... and vice versa, because we 'are' gonna have bad days!" And this is my favorite: Richard says, "Christel and I are trying our best to "out love" one another... and guess what- We're both winning!" I think my all time favorite quote from my husband is what he said to me on one- very- hot- Alabama summer day... "You and me are like two Hershey kisses on the dash of a hot car!" I do have to admit-- that one "melted" my heart! Ha Ha!
Richard and I celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary last March and like I said, we are not who we were in the beginning. Reading the Word and putting the knowledge and wisdom that God has given us into practice has totally transformed us and is continuing to transform us more and more each and every day! I still say that we have a long way to go.. and we do! But I look back at all that God has done and think, "wow, look how far we've come!" Praise God!
We have two son's, both that we are very proud of... My oldest, Brandon is nineteen. He is a freshman in college. He wants to become a Nurse Practitioner. He works and pays his own tuition. He's a mild-tempered, easy going guy. He's nineteen going on thirty and has always been years ahead of himself! His heart belongs to Spanish speaking people! He's fluent in Spanish and has been on three mission trips which include Canada, Costa Rica and Nicaragua. He's currently the Spanish music minister at church and wants to be a long term missionary one day in a Spanish speaking country.
Our youngest, Stephan is seventeen. He's a junior in high school. He has spoken of owning his own business one day. He is strong tempered and strong willed, but has such a sense of compassion for those who are hurting. He especially loves children! His favorite thing to do is golf for the time being... whatever he does he gives it one hundred and fifty percent!! He's only been golfing about a year now and has really impressed many grown men who have been golfing for years!
Currently, my husband and I have had a Bible Study Department at church seemingly laid at our feet.. such a God thing.. It's called Family Ties. We started out with 9 people and now have a little over 80 people in our class. My husband teaches from his heart -things that the Lord has spoken to him about. We are able, because of the environment of our class being geared toward family, marriage and parenting, to use so "many" examples of trials and victories that God has brought us through to minister to the couples in our class. We usually always end class with a marriage minute.
Praise be to God... we have seen so many couples become closer to one another and more committed to their own marriages. They've grown to a deeper understanding of one anothers thoughts, feelings and emotions! It's so awesome to witness God doing such a work! We have also counseled many couples through the years that God has brought to us as well. There have been many people at our kitchen table or on our living room couch just seeking someone who can understand a little of what they may be going through. I think that Richard and I can only share our hearts because of experience and if that helps someone along in their journey we are most glad to share... I really believe that looking back, God allowed us to go through the struggles we went though to be "able" to minister to others today! We can now be a living example of God using these trials that we have gone through for His glory! It's only by his grace that we have a non-perfect, but healthy marriage! Did I say "non-perfect?" Oh- yes.. I did!
Richard and I began discipleship two years ago. We had the privilege of being discipled by our pastor and his wife. We have turned around and are now discipling others. The process of discipleship takes almost a year. We have just started our second discipleship relationship with another couple! It is so neat to see relationships grow and people feast upon the Word of God, making it the authority of their lives...
As for me, I am also a singer. It's my passion and one place of ministry that God has me in. He's privileged me to be able to be a soloist, but also part of a praise and worship team and band who's heart are totally sold out to Him! My other ministry is women's mentorship and being able to pour my life into encouraging women.. wherever they are in their lives...
I'm going to tell you, the day I found out that my son had tried marijuana I was devastated beyond belief! I was blindsided! My heart grieved, ached, felt that it had been spat upon... I was so angry and hurt! I had so many questions and felt bewildered and confused! Why..... Why my son? I don't understand... How could a child that had been reared in a loving, Christian home make such horrible choices? We're not perfect, but look at all the things that we've tried to pour into him.. Is it lost? What did we do wrong? Am I a bad mother? Are other people going to think I am? Through the tears God began working. He began showing me and teaching me things about myself as mother and about sin... He began showing me that this is not my fault, it's my son's choice. But how do I help him? What do I do? What can I do? I had just began the most serious spiritual battle of my life!
A battle for my son's life.....
