King Lemuel's Mother- The True Proverb's 31 Woman

 Richard and I have started writing family/marriage devotions for Brandon and Ellie. We will send them one a month. Richard is writing Brandon's and I am writing Ellie's!! They both sent us a list of struggles they both have and answered a questionnaire that Richard sent them! What married couple doesn't have struggles? I hope that God will use these to bless and encourage : )  I began Ellie's devotions with being a woman/motherhood...  Enjoy!

King Lemuel’s Mother- The True Proverb’s 31 Woman

When Christian women talk about the Proverbs 31 Woman it’s usually in an idolized fashion and out of utmost respect. After all, you’re speaking of the ideal Christian woman, right? She’s the pure, picture perfect inspiration for all of us who want to be “godly” women, wives and mothers. She is the standard role model, mentor and example of how Christian women should be. Sadly, after a few moments of boasting about how wonderful she is, most women’s pleasant conversations turn into discouraging comments about themselves and then comes the suffering and painful discontentment of knowing that they really- just- don’t- measure- up- to this lady!

We have this imaginary vision that the Proverbs 31 Woman can do it all!! If we apply the 31^st chapter of Proverbs to women of today we come up with something like this: She’s skinny because she teaches Cycle Fit down at the gym. She’s a chef- and writes her own cookbooks! She leads amazing ladies Bible Studies at church and has quite the following. Her husband is chairman of Deacons. Her children never have a hair out of place or have dirty, snotty faces! She sews and then monograms all her girl’s dresses! Her hair is always salon perfect and her make-up flawless. Her nails are always beautifully manicured. She’s the epitome of fashion and everyone looks to her for what to buy each season. Her house is always clean. She volunteer’s in the community through several different charitable organizations. She’s Homeroom Mom! She’s a Girl Scout leader and assistant dance coach! She’s also team soccer mom and she’s president of the P.T.A. for goodness sake! Her husband is always bragging on her in public…they’re so in love! She’s the person that everybody wants to be friends with on Facebook! Anyone who’s anyone follows ALL of her boards on Pinterest! If you’re not following her on Twitter, you’re really missing out! Can I get a witness?  

What if I told you the Proverbs 31 Woman wasn’t real? Do I hear gasping? When most women read Proverbs 31, they usually skip down to about verse 10 which reads, “A worthy woman who can find? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband trusteth in her, And he shall have no lack of gain. She doeth him good and not evil All the days of her life……… etc, etc…” It’s true that these words of scripture are words to genuinely treasure. They’re precious gems of wisdom and skill to be sought after. They are things to strive toward and to admire. These words shouldn’t be taken lightly at all, but are qualities meant to inspire!  But, before we miss it, let’s back up just a little to Proverbs Chapter 31:1- which says, “The words of king Lemuel; the oracle which his mother taught him.”  Let’s repeat that: The oracle which his mother taught him…

The first nine verses of Proverbs 31 aren’t about a woman at all; they’re about a mother instructing her son and teaching him about chastity, justice, mercy and temperance. She was warning him of behaviors that destroy rulers. She advised him to avoid alcohol and loose women, so that he could always have a clear head to rule justly. She reminded him of the duties of a King, which were to defend the weak and uphold the helpless.

² What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb?
    What are you doing, son of my vows?
³ Do not give your strength to women,
    your ways to those who destroy kings.
⁴ It is not for kings, O Lemuel,
    it is not for kings to drink wine,
    or for rulers to take strong drink,
⁵ lest they drink and forget what has been decreed
    and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.
⁶ Give strong drink to the one who is perishing,
    and wine to those in bitter distress;
⁷ let them drink and forget their poverty
    and remember their misery no more.
⁸ Open your mouth for the mute,
    for the rights of all who are destitute.
⁹ Open your mouth, judge righteously,
    defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Stop and continue to read verses 10-31 in your Bible… In these verses, King Lemuel’s Mother begins advising her adult son on marriage! Beginning in verse 10 and ending with verse 31, she describes a noble woman, a woman of excellence, determination and who is hard working. She speaks of this woman being of great character, having concern for others and independent enough to be resourceful in her daily tasks. She describes a woman that gives to the poor and provides food and clothing for her family, a woman who is faithful to her husband and does him good, not evil. She’s a woman of strength and honor. She is clearly describing a woman who is a blessing to her husband and her family. 

Proverbs 31 isn’t what we think! It’s not a chapter for women to measure themselves against; it’s perhaps a song about a virtuous woman that King Lemuel’s mother used as an example to teach her son about what kind of qualities or characteristics to look for in a wife. King Lemuel’s mother is the real Proverbs 31 Woman here! She’s the example for women to follow! Even in her son’s adulthood, she was still pouring her life into her son and giving him the wisdom that he needed to succeed as a King and in his future as a father and husband. You may say, the scriptures didn’t mention anything about fathers or husbands in these verses!! You would be right… but think about it, she was instructing him in finding this “virtuous woman,” a helpmeet, a wife- who would one day take her place to love her son and to help him succeed as she had. That would then make him a husband and eventually, hopefully a father.

In verse 2, she mentioned him being “son of her vows.”  The name Lemuel also means (“for God” or consecrated to Him.)  When she said, “Son of my vows,” commentary says that it is probably an expression of dedication she had to the Lord in the raising her son. I would have to assume that King Lemuel’s mother saw her son as a gift from God and a heritage not to be ignored. She honored God by pouring herself into her son, instructing him and passing along wisdom that had probably been given to her by her mother.  I would also personally love to think that her mindset was also thinking of the future. She was “creating and leaving” a legacy through her son that would carry on for generations to come! Wow, what a thought…. That suddenly makes our jobs as mothers take on a whole new meaning!!! What we teach our children now will affect our children’s, children hundreds of years from now… people that we will never even meet! That kind of thought process changes the way we think of parenting! That kind of parenting changes the world! Building the Kingdom of God changes the world one child at a time. Through one itty, bitty little limb on your family tree; that little limb will grow into a strong branch one day and bear much fruit when the legacy you leave lives on…

There’s a lot to ponder and to be learned from the true Proverbs 31 Woman….  She’s sacrificial. She’s proactive. She’s genuine. She’s selfless. She puts her children before herself. She cares about honoring God with how she instructs her children and prepares them for the future.  When we come to the end of our life one day we need to remember that a true Proverbs 31 Woman is not a woman to be admired for the things she “could” do that allowed her to gain the praises of man. She’s a woman to be admired because of the things she “did” do that earned her no earthly praises at all…. 

 A poem by Forrest Whitcraft:

 “It will not matter
What kind of car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
How much I had in my bank
Nor what my clothes looked like.
One hundred years from now
It will not matter
What kind of school I attended,
What kind of typewriter I used,
How large or small my church,
But the world may be ...
a little better because...
I was important in the life of a child………...” 

** As a little side note, I posted this on facebook and a lady at my church in Alabama called wanting to know if she could put it in the next WOW's (Women on the Way) next newsletter! I was humbled and honored...


   

Motherhood

February is the month I became a mother- twice! My boys birthdays are coming up! Brandon was born on Feb. 14th and Stephan was born Feb. 9th! They will turn 21 and 23 years old this month : ) I was reading over some things I've wrote in the past and wanted to share this today in honor of my boys. There may be more to come as this month goes by who knows... It's Motherhood month for me : ) LOL ------- enjoy : ) 

In my quiet time this morning, I was pondering over motherhood…  Oh how I miss it!!!! I was thinking back on times spent with my boys. One special memory that came to mind this morning was that I taught Brandon and Stephan how to build a fort in the woods! I taught them how to gather sticks and twigs for walls and roofs and moss for their beds inside! Such fun times…  These little forts (and the fact that their aunt was in the Military) became the inspiration for them to become “Army Men,” which eventually led to a Club called W.A.C.T.A.C . (We are Christ’s Team Army Club)  The “club” became the inspiration for a Club HOUSE, which we painted Green and had the letters W.A.C.T.A.C.  written across on the front! I even made the boys and their friends W.A.C.T.A.C.  T-shirts and hats- We went through 2 sets of these!  

Soon the T-shirts were set aside and their wardrobe became full Camouflage gear! All dressed up from head to toe, no matter the temperature- Brandon would have his Walkie Talkie tucked inside his little shirt pocket. If he needed me I would hear, “Scrrrrrrr--Mama bird, Mama Bird, come in Mama bird, this is Baby Bird, -come in!”  I would reply, “Scrrrrrrr- Hey Baby Bird, this is Mama Bird, What do you need Baby Bird, -come in!”  Well, ...It usually had something to do with peanut butter and jelly!! : )

I was very proud that Brandon named his club after our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. It was at least one little sign that Richard and I were doing “something” right in the midst of all the mistakes!! Can I get a witness?? 

As I pondered all these thoughts today, I was also taken back to the days that I struggled as a mom! Every day wasn’t all about forts and making little shirts.  Some days, I had moments that I would escape to the bathroom, because it was the only place I could be by myself!  Still.. little fingers and toes were poking from underneath with little voices repeating over and over saying, “Mommy, whea  ah you, wet me in!”  Maybe you’re a stay at home mom right now and you feel just plain worn out -and you haven’t even cleaned the house yet!!!  You’re overwhelmed with piles of laundry, dirty dishes, temper tantrums- and you haven’t shaved your legs in a week! Maybe you also feel like your ministry has been put on hold during these child rearing years… 

You’ve heard the old saying- “If I knew then what I know now, I’d change some things.”  I didn’t learn this lesson myself until later on…  My boys were 5 and 7… Richard and I had only known the Lord for a few years. We were – and still are- a work in progress!  But back to then- --I began to homeschool.  I became my boy’s teacher! I was a kindergarten and second grade teacher! My curriculum was Christian based and incorporated Christ, His Word and His Teachings in every subject!  As I homeschooled my boys over the next 5 years, I realized during those years that I didn’t have to Homeschool to become my children’s teacher- I already WAS and I didn’t even realize it! I had been their teacher since the very beginning and it took me 7 years to figure it out! There were a few years I needed to make up for!!  On a side note, I loved homeschooling…  It was awesome for our family! I also understand that it’s not for everyone… but it was THIS experience that God taught ME a valuable lesson.  : ) 

If you’re a mother, YOU are a teacher.  In the hustle and bustle of each day that went by, I also realized that Motherhood is not a DUTY --it’s a CALLING! It’s not about getting things done… it’s about being of the Lord’s business!  My relationship with God, My husband, My children and My home WERE my greatest ministries… and in that order!  I had put nothing on HOLD!!  “I” was in the midst of the greatest ministry I would ever have in my LIFE! A calling from God to help mold, shape and equip my children to be future “soldiers” for Christ -and for that moment, they were WACTAC members!  
We are called to teach and to train our little ones in the way they should go, so that when they are old, they will not depart from it –Proverbs 22:6  

Motherhood is a calling from God “for Him” to use “us” as His vessel to build a solid foundation for these little ones we tuck in at night. A solid foundation never means our little ones won’t wander... Just as God is our great shepherd, He is the example for us as parents to always go after the one who strays and bring him in.  And when they do come back, they WILL ALWAYS have something solid to hold on too! 

Mothers are the model of grace for their children…  We instill grace into our children by choosing encouraging words, words that build up, never tear down…  Words that inspire a repentant little heart and words that teach to give and receive forgiveness.

Mothers inspire purpose and a sense of God’s presence and Love in a child’s life.

Mothers inspire faith in God and His Word.

Mother’s teach their children to have a kind and compassionate heart toward those in need.

So, if you feel down trodden today…  Smile sista! You are involved in the most powerful ministries you may ever see fulfilled, which is following Christ’s example in reaching and teaching your children. A mother and child is a discipleship relationship that involves training your children to become passionate followers of Jesus Christ! -Don’t get any better than that! 

Dishes? …What Dishes?  “Dishes” will always be waiting on you tomorrow… an opportunity to impact your child’s life may only last for a moment… 

If your children are 5 and 7 like mine were… or whether you have a new born, or your child is grown… It’s never, ever too late to realize your calling! Your children will always need you, your prayers, your advice or a listening ear. 

Thought for you to ponder:  Can you imagine what your children may do for the Kingdom of God one day that may become a beautiful result of your sacrificial living, loving and giving now?  Possibilities are endless……. Because all things are possible with God.

Little Updates

Well, things didn't work out with Samantha for Stephan. I really don't even think he wanted it to work out. After all this time, I think he still loves Rainey. She came to visit a few weeks ago! She and Stephan stayed in a hotel... Not exactly what I would have wanted of course. They made all the arrangements, she flew here and they were together for several days until she returned to Alabama. Rainey is going to college and is working in a restaurant. I am proud of her for going to college. That's definitely a step in a good direction. She wants to become a nurse. She's really smart- I have no doubts that she will become one if she continues and doesn't change her mind.

Some other things that have happened lately is that Richard and Stephan are in Alabama even as I write this. A long, long... long time ago, I wrote about Stephan's wreck...  The one that involved two other kids. They were all drunk and Stephan wrecked the car... The one boy's mother is trying to sue our insurance company for gazzilions of dollars because her son fractured his hip and had to be on pain meds. I will have to note just out of plain frustration that this kid admitted to Stephan afterward that he was really enjoying the meds! Richard and I even took this kid out to dinner after the wreck. You see, at the time he didn't have a father figure in his life. He was making bad choices just as Stephan was and Richard was trying to talk to him to help him along in his life. This boy's mother knew that Richard was "mentoring" him in a sense- or trying too what little time we seen the boy. So- in return for our kindness, she tries to sue. It's been like four years since this wreck!!! I had thought by now that she'd just dropped it! Kids will be kids and make stupid decisions... but no!

I completely understand that Stephan was driving! It takes an irresponsible, immature teenager to drive drunk! It also takes an irresponsible, immature teenager to get in the car drunk with someone else who's drunk! They were both equally stupid at the time.... so was the other girl.. she was drunk too!

Richard just said that they're choosing the jury... I really hope this can be over with soon. Stephan's doing really well. Compared to where we were years ago and where we are now--- it's night and day! He's working 40 hours a week! I look at him sometimes and just can't believe that God loved us so much to move us when he did to get Stephan away from all the people he was with and stuff he was doing.

I knew when we moved here that God had plans in this Wisconsin move. We've been here for almost a year. Hard to believe! The president of the company Richard works for is now looking for another location. They have made an offer on one! I have to laugh... You'll never, ever guess where! As you know, our other son, his wife and baby, Jeremiah live in Alabama. You may also remember how difficult this move was for me leaving them. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life... Are you ready? This facility is in Tennessee!!!! It's a two hour drive from Brandon, Ellie and Jeremiah! If God works this out.... oh my gracious... it will be a miracle! A miracle that our trust and faith would lead us to WI, save Stephan's life, then take us back near our family, but still far enough away that Stephan can continue living and growing as a young man. Since Stephan works for the same company as my husband, he would transfer too! If this came to pass- how awesome a God we have for orchestrating such a thing? Unbelievable... just crazy awesome!!! If God chooses a different road. If this facility falls though- I know that God is in control. I've seen Him do too much to even think that He has left my side!

We also discontinued going to the small church. We are back to the big one we really liked. I just won't go into it all... just wasn't where we were supposed to be, although I thought maybe it was. We are learning and growing here. Stephan is still going with us, although he missed a Sunday a few weeks ago. He stayed over night with a friend from work and his kids. They were probably drinking.... Although I really, really wish he wasn't from time to time... I am so very thankful that he is where he is. He's made so much progress. This journey is a process for Stephan. Just as we all go through "processes" at times, this is his.... I continue praying for my beautiful boy. He's got so much to offer this world. He has a good heart, he's kind, he helps people...

The guy he spends time with sometimes is having it pretty hard financially. He and his girlfriend have four kids, which Stephan adores... Stephan's helped him a few times. Stephan has a giving heart.

I'm very thankful today as my son is healthy and with us. He's probably being reminded of past wrongs even as we speak. I hope it's a stepping stone. I hope it teaches him something good. Something that will further cast him into being the man God created him to be.

Dear Lord God, keep your hands on all my children. For Stephan, speak to him and teach him. Comfort him and hold him. For Brandon, give him eyes to see his wife's needs. To seek out ways to support her and bring her joy. For Eliana, give her a heart to except Brandon for his wonderful qualities and focus on those alone. For my little Jeremiah, Lord watch over him and keep him safe. Protect his little heart. Make him strong, wise and gentle in spirit. May Brandon and Ellie see him as you do and love him unconditionally.