After the five days passed and our power was back on, I turned my heart toward helping those in need. I had made plans with my friend, Terri to go to the CCC, load a truck full of food and drive it to a town nearby for the people there. I prayed as I was getting myself ready that morning of how much I wish Stephan could go with me and what an awesome opportunity this could be for him to be able to go and for him to see what had just happened in the lives of people around him. I thought that it might spark something from inside of him.. something good. Maybe a chance to see how privileged he is and how fortunate he is to have a family who loves and cares for him and the fact he has a home! As you know, he abandoned his home about a month ago, unwilling to live according to our rules or to live within the boundaries set before him. He left...selfishly seeking what "he" thought to be freedom.
As I was preparing to leave the house, I set the house alarm, opened the door and shut it back, then I heard the phone ringing inside. I thought it might be Terri, so I ran back in and grabbed the phone and turned the alarm back off! To my surprise, it was Stephan!!! He wanted to know if I'd come pick him up. I told him where I was headed and asked him if he wanted to go.. he said, "Yes!" I thanked God all the way to my car and all the way to where he was! It was like, Boom, answered prayer!! Oh, how I began praying for what lied ahead of us that day and how I prayed for Stephan's heart to be opened, moved, touched, something! Maybe helping others would in turn, give him a sense of purpose and direction for his own life.
I picked him up at a gas station. We went to meet Terri, drove to the CCC, loaded up and headed West! With a GPS and written directions, we got lost! It was a "God-thing" that we got lost. As we drove through an area of total devastation, the three of us were in awe of what were seeing. I began to tear up as I saw people pilfering through the rubbish that they once called home. It was heart breaking. We were trying to find the Fire Department, but wound up at a site where some one's house "used to be." Terri had went to a camper on site to see if we were at the right place. As Stephan and I waited, we saw a woman. We began talking to her and discovered that the house that was now- no more than a concrete slab- belonged to her son. She explained that it took him five years to build his house. You could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke. I told her that I was so sorry and that my heart was breaking for her. I began to ask her if she needed anything and she mentioned a few things. I told her that we had new pillows... When she mentioned that she could definitely use some, Stephan, Terri and I walked to the truck and got the things she needed. We were also able to get things for her neighbor who had a baby. As we were saying our good byes and began to leave, Stephan threw up his hand as to wave at the woman and said, "God bless ya'll!" I knew God was working for those words to pass his lips...
We finally made it to the Fire Dept. where Stephan helped us unload everything! Terri had offered to make homemade laundry detergent and bring five gallons back Saturday.. although she was coordinating a wedding that day as well! She was also inquiring about other area and what types of help they needed. When we got back into town, Terri and I were talking to the CCC director about the things we saw, people we spoke too, that our delivery was successful, etc. Stephan was incredibly impressed with my friend Terri. When we left, he said, "Mom, is she always like that?" I looked at him and said, "like what?" He said, "just so willing to help no matter what she has going on in her own life and like she wants to jump in and save the world!" I said, "Well, yes, actually she is always like that!" He was like, "wow.." He said, "Well, I guess 'I' did a good deed today." I said, "Yes, you certainly did..." I could tell that God was working inside of him and that Stephan was glad that he went. We talked a little more about what we saw that day and how close we came to it being us! I told him that no matter what we could do, it just didn't seem like enough, because there were so many people hurting and so many people with needs. I told him I was glad we were able to touch one family... and we were able to help in a small way with the food for the community. He agreed...
I had gotten three gallon sized zip-loc bags from church the previous Wednesday. Each bag had a label on the outside listing things to buy. It was toiletry items for the tornado victims. When we arrived back into town, we went to two stores to buy the things we needed. Stephan earnestly helped pick out the items... and never complained once!
As we drove home he began telling me about living in the "corporate" world. Now, I was totally unsure of what this term meant! He explained that people living in the corporate world were people trying to "live the American dream, people that wanted to go to college and pushed themselves to be more." He said that he wanted to learn the "street world." Well, the words, "street" and "world" combined into a compound word scare this mama to death! He said that he was teaching the people he was "hangin" with how to live in the corporate world. He explained that they do not know how to communicate or how to interview for jobs or anything... they just "thug it" day by day. Meaning: They do whatever it takes to make what money they need for that day and that day alone... and they do it everyday! He said, "I don't wanna live that way!" I tried to watch what I said- as we had made so much progress this day already. I said, "Then how "do" you want to live?" He said, he wanted to live in the corporate world, but he wanted to learn about both worlds, so he could understand lots of people, how people think and how to relate to different people. He said he wanted to be a well-rounded person!
He said... "I need to know how to be able to talk to all kinds of people in case I'm a preacher one day!"
I was internally, utterly, not hardly able to contain my happiness... speechless! I was trying not to seem too overwhelmingly ecstatic. With Stephan, sometimes agreeing with him when he verbalizes an idea of such wondrous magnitude, then pushing his own idea upon him causes instant rebellion on his part and he wants to turn the conversation completely in the opposite direction. I simply smiled and said, "Well that could certainly happen!" That was the right thing to say... It was enough to where the idea still hung inside his mind and nothing snatched it away! --although I secretly didn't want him "thugin" it with the thugs to teach them a thing or two... Help me Jesus!
I will have to say... we had a very "God" day and I pray for many other "God" days just like this : ) Just being able to step outside of himself and help someone else did so much for him. It caused him to "think" about a lot of things. Seeing the light of Christ through my friend Terri caused him to look inside himself for the same qualities. Qualities that one can only possess by allowing Christ to live within you and through you...
Our day ended by me taking Stephan back to his "street world." Oh, you don't know how hard that was. I never imagined I could ever do such a thing and think it was best for my child... for the time being anyway. I see this "street world" as evil, but also, as I place my trust in God, I see it as a refiners fire... God is going to use that boy one day! The Father is breaking him down, gently churning his heart, taking out all the impurities and is in the process of molding Stephan into who He has created him to be... for His Glory!
My favorite scripture verse is coming to mind and I'll end by posting it... It seems to be so fitting for my hearts cry for my son. It lets me know that God has Stephan's best interest in mind. It gives me hope. It also seems so fitting in a way that displays God's love for His children.. His love for Stephan. God does have a plan for his future and God... knows the path that will take him there...
Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
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