You know, the last post I posted about Stephan we were pretty upset because he couldn't seem to get home on time. I guess we felt as if we were being taken advantage of by him and when there is no rule he will follow... then what's a parent to do?
We've already "kicked him out." Not that we wanted to. We felt it was best... Best in the aspect of him learning to be thankful for a house to stay in and around parents who love him. In one of my previous posts, we see where he ended up. He was living with gangsters... After all of that horrible situation, we felt he was safer living with us despite what we were dealing with. Sometimes life is hard and decisions we make are hard. The decisions we do make, I want to make sure it's for his best interest.
It seems that no matter what Stephan goes through, like being kicked out, he is better for a season once things are over. He does seem to learn valuable lessons. He admits openly the things he has learned! Sorrowfully, his season usually only lasts for about one week before he's back doing the same ole stuff.
I knew in my heart that jail was coming. I've known this for sometime. Last week- the time came! He had been driving around with some friends and Stephan threw a beer bottle out the window. A citizen reported them and not long after that phone call, a cop pulled them over, searched the car, and found more beer. All three kids in the car were under age and all three kids went to jail.
We had made our minds up that we were not going to bail him out and we didn't. He was there for two days.
He came home and seemed to have this new attitude! He was set on getting a job and swore up and down that he was finished with pot and drinking!! He put in about 15 job applications that week!
I have to tell you that I've had my hopes built up so many times, only to have those hopes shattered like glass beneath my feet, so I was not emotionally able to believe him. I just couldn't let myself believe it was over.
I loved on him that week. We did some things together. I took him to the animal shelter to get some volunteer forms. I had actually been praying about something like this. Something that Stephan could do, volunteer wise that would help build his self esteem and give him a sense of giving of himself. That always makes him feel good. It was a good week.... It was short lived.
Right now, we are back where we were, but he is home and that's where he is safest...for now. There is just no balance in our life right now. Just no balance... So, we make daily decisions that seem to change as often as the direction of the wind.
