Today is Monday! I texted Stephan off and on over the weekend. He finally had to move out of his apartment that he was living in until the other one is available. He moved into Caleb's basement. You've heard me talk about Caleb in the past. He and Stephan have continued to be friends, but they haven't really "hung out" a lot. You see, Stephan has a girlfriend, Rainey, and Caleb has a girlfriend, Lisa... Girls have a way of "getting" in the way LOL!
We learned that Lisa was pregnant a few months ago. I really believe that this made an impression on Stephan! It gave him a chance to know that these things do happen and CAN happen! Caleb has a Christian background... His parents were missionaries in Bolivia for most of his childhood. Something happened since being back into the States that caused his parents faith to be tested. I don't think they are doing very well right now. They have let Satan get the better of them. I can't imagine how this must feel. I do know that they are excited about the baby. Caleb has 2-3 younger brothers. Caleb lived in the basement of his parents home, but now since Lisa has moved in, they now occupy a younger brothers room and the brother now lives in the basement, along with Stephan. There is drinking there... and Caleb is on pills. Caleb loves Richard and I. He came to visit us when we were in Alabama over Easter. Richard had a great talk with him! It's so funny... In the midst of all Caleb's troubles, he talked about the Lord with Richard. I could tell that he had been "on something" recently. His eyes still reflected the effect. He's a good guy... drowning his sorrow with a pill. Stephan looked awesome! Every time I talk to him he seems fine! Stephan and I talked about him staying with Caleb's family. I told Stephan of my concerns... and Stephan assured me that he wanted to keep his job, he wanted to move as soon as possible, and he wasn't going to do pills. He told me he quit all that and he wished Caleb would. He told me not to worry. I couldn't help but look at his face- my baby... and say a silent prayer for God to watch over him.
I did talk to Stephan Friday! He called the lady at the apartment complex and it's going to be a while longer before the apartment is available!!! We also let our son, Brandon keep our lawnmower for us until we know what to do with it while we were in Alabama over Easter. We moved it, along with our out building to his house and put in a concrete slab in for it to sit on. Stephan needed gas, oil and a windshield wiper for his car so we helped him out with that. We gave him $60.00
During our conversation Friday, Stephan told me he was down to $20.00 and he didn't get paid till the next Friday! He told me that his tax check had come in, it was in his account, but he didn't want to spend any of it!!! He also said that on top of the $20.00 he had for spending, he "did" have his insurance money in his account as well! He wanted to know if we could loan him $20-$30.00 until he got paid. I didn't really say anything, I just let him talk. He kept rambling... really what he was doing was thinking out loud- so I let him think! While he was thinking out loud, I was thinking and praying quietly. The thought crossed my mind to transfer a little money- Gosh, I don't want him to starve!!! He WAS budgeting his money and I couldn't be more proud!!! All of a sudden I remembered the money we gave him during Easter and asked him again where it all went. He told me 30 for gas, 15 for the wiper, 5 for oil, and the other was for food and cigarettes! (We bought cigarettes!!) Oh, my....
Well, I can't complain much... He's doing well. The longer he talked he "talked" himself out of borrowing the money!!! He finally said, "Never mind, I'll just get twenty dollars out of my tax money and put it back when I get paid." Wow, did my son actually think of that on his own? YES he did!!!!! I hadn't even offered that advise!!! I'd been quiet as a mouse! It was hard, but- speaking like mama's do... I told him to make sure to put the money back... because money can get gone faster that you realize! His reply to that was: "Oh, don't I know that!!"
I didn't transfer any money.... I was proud of him and I was equally proud of myself. I have to let him figure it out and given the opportunity- be a blessing when we can. We did tell him that we would pay his deposit on his apartment. He has thanked us over and over! He also told me that his tax money was for the first months rent and to have the utilities cut on. As long as he keeps planning and being responsible- Well, I started to say, "I don't worry.." but I do... I still worry. I'm a mama... that's what we do. But I am proud of him....
I sent him a text yesterday afternoon that said, "How's my baby? Are you eating well? He replied that he was, he was going into work soon and that he loved me : ) I replied, "Just know that you are never alone. Me and Dad are only a phone call away.. I love you too, more than you know!!" He told me goodnight and that he'd talk to me tomorrow.
He feels safe. He feels loved. He's on his own... He's doing well/ He's struggling... I guess I feel like we're helping just enough to allow him to help himself. Maybe one day we can be a bigger blessing. Maybe for now, it's what we're supposed to do.
Yesterday, Richard and I went to a different church. It was nice. People were friendly. It felt good. However, before we left for church, Richard was sitting in our office going over the names of God and listening to El Shaddai on youtube. Today, (Monday-)I was online viewing the service held yesterday at our church in Alabama and I discovered that the name of the service was El Shaddai!!! The Sunday before that was titled Jehovah Jirah!! Weird? Nah?
Our church service in Wisconsin yesterday was titled, "When you suffer." The scripture was out of Job. You don't know how much I needed the message yesterday since this move! I have suffered. I am suffering missing my kids... I'm in an apartment, in a new city, a new state for that matter! I often feel guilty for feeling this way. What I learned yesterday was: Although Jesus suffered more than any man could ever suffer, He is still with me in my suffering. He never wants to remind me that anyone has suffered more- that I need to suck it up! He is compassionate toward "my" suffering and knows that it's real to me and He wants to help me through it. He wants me to remain in Him and let Him guide me.
I find it coincidental that we are torn between two churches- the one we love in Alabama and the one here that God may be speaking to us in His still small voice- leading us through both of them... But you know, I don't believe in coincidences... I believe in God! I think God allows us to ponder upon things like we do sometimes. I haven't listened to a service in Alabama since we moved! I saw that Kelsey sang on facebook today. It was her first solo- and I wanted to hear her. She was awesome... then I saw the title of the sermon! What in the world inspired Richard to look up the names of God yesterday, then for me to find these titles today?? I don't know? And then, another message on exactly where I am in life... Wow... All things work together... they DO! God speaks through His Word, through His people and through circumstance! All we have to do is open our eyes and ears- He's there! Listen... watch...
He works for the good of those who Love Him and trust Him....
