A few weeks ago, the son of some dear friends of ours died in a tragic car wreck. Karen and Jessie had just lost their only son, Nick. Karen works with Richard. We got the call around 10:00 for us to come to their house. Nick's girlfriend was in the car with him and she also died. I'm telling you dear friends, the cry of a mother who just lost her only son still rings in my ears. It's the cry of grief beyond anything I've ever heard. Karen and Jessie's son was a good kid. He was the life of any gathering. He was cordial and respectful, full of laughter and such a jokester! My son, Stephan and he had played golf together several times and have known one other since middle school. He was 17... I can't pretend to know God's plan or purpose for this. All I kept saying every time the thought of this tragic event entered my mind was," oh my God, oh my God... " There was no drugs or alcohol involved. There were no evident signs of anything that led to the wreck. It's a mystery... This wreck was on a straight road that ended in a head on collision and no one can seem to figure out how it happened. The only thing left to wonder about in my mind is if it was a dog or deer that ran out in front of his car and he swirved to miss it and hit an oncoming vehicle instead.
We walked upstairs and told Stephan of Nick's death right after we got the call. I knew this would be difficult news for him. Stephan wanted to go with us to see our friends. Stephan is pretty close to the Karen. She always talks to him when he comes into the plant, but it was still surprising that he wanted to go. I had reservations about him going. First, he was a teen and the sight of someone near her son's age could be painful. Secondly, she knows Stephan's struggles. She is the woman who found him laying in the parking lot at Richard's workplace that day. She has talked to Stephan in depth about getting things straight! Karen's mother, who is a drug and alcohol counselor in Florida has also been involved over the phone trying to help us in anyway she can. So, my second reservation also involved Karen seeing Stephan at her house knowing her son just died and my son lives a careless lifestyle and here he is standing in her living room- possibly wondering why this happened to her son when he tried to live life to the fullest! All I did know is that my friend loves Stephan, but I just didn't know how his presence would affect her or Jessie... under the circumstances.
I discussed my reservations with Richard. We didn't have a lot of time to weigh all the factors involved, but we decided to let him go. Richard said that in any situation it's best to err on the side of "being there for someone" and not worry about anything else. Stephan wanted to go. He could have just said he was staying home... He wanted to be there for them! Richard also said that if Karen or Jessie look back after their hearts have had time to heal a little that it would definitely be best that he "was" there and they will know that he wanted to be. What may be painful in the beginning will be a blessing later on. We hoped...
We walked in and held them both for the longest time. I still can't think about it without getting this huge lump in my throat and heaviness in my heart as it ached for them both. When she saw Stephan, she pointed at him, crying... lip quivering, and kept repeating... " You better... you.... you better straighten up." Part of me was not surprised she said this. I had prepared myself for it. The other part of me was glad she said these things. I didn't fully understand her pain, thank God. I never hope I do, but I was able to let her express her feelings and understand completely why she said it. She loves Stephan... but her son was on the right track doing all the right things and was taken from them. Here Stephan acts so careless with his life, yet it's been spared so many times. He had had 3 wrecks. I only hope that her words spoken in such pain and grief meant something to him. I hope they didn't hurt him. I hope he understood. I hate that my friend was in the situation that she had to speak those words. Not a day goes by that I do not think of them...
Oh Lord, hold them in your arms and bring them comfort during this time.
