Wow, it's been exactly a month since I've been on here! Time sure does fly!! SOOooo much has gone on since Stephan said he was moving here. I have a surprise! Are you ready? Stephan "is" here! He's been here for three weeks and three days. He said he was coming.... and he did!
He finally asked his brother to help him move his things from Travis' house, so everything Stephan owned, except for his car, clothes and his toothbrush is in our storage facility in Alabama. The day Stephan said he was driving here was probably one of the MOST stressful days I'd ever experienced. It was a different type of stress, but stress none the less! Before he left, he had spent the night before in his car. He was drunk, so his brother wouldn't let him stay there. Brandon also had to call the police, so they were involved. We were all up till 2:00 in the morning. The policeman got Stephan's keys and he slept in his car in front of Brandon's house. Brandon returned the keys the next morning. Stephan was pretty much drunk the entire week before he left Alabama!
Stephan called us around eleven on a Sunday and said he was headed north. He was determined to leave. He was already in route. I actually told him to stay until he was in a better frame of mine. He said he was DONE and needed a new life and wanted to start over. As parents, our concerns were: If he wanted a new life, then why go get drunk and cause all the chaos one week before starting your new life? It was confusing to us- and very concerning- that if he wanted this new life, why not start now? We tried to get him to calm down and stay for a few more days... you know, think things through, but he wouldn't hear of it. He was after all, homeless.. I even asked him if he could consider staying with Travis a little longer. He said, I'm leaving now and I AM on the interstate!! It was a blessing to hear that he said he was done.... It's what I've been wanting to hear for so long.
His reasoning for the chaos that he put us all through while staying with Brandon was because the change he was getting ready to experience. He was nervous not knowing what to expect. He was afraid of the drive... it was 750 miles! He was also leaving his best friend and his girlfriend, well, x-girlfriend... I'm sure all his reason's are accurate, but what I wanted to talk about was him handling his stress with substances! I told him- it just never ends well and there are always, always negative consequences to it.
At this point, we couldn't stop him. Was this God's plan? Did God move us all the way here for Stephan to join us later? Was this the answer to my last four-five years of prayer? I don't know....
The day Stephan came- oh my gracious, I was so concerned with him driving. I was worried about his car. I was worried that he'd get lost! He had NEVER driven on the road (interstate) for that long of a distance in his life! I had to give him a crash course in road signs and with no GPS to guide him I talked to him periodically in the phone (with 120 minutes on it!) He has lost his phone that week prior to the drive and he had to get a pre-paid phone with -again-only 120 minutes on it! I was forced to guide him in the blind only when he called, me looking at Google Maps with time ticking away on his phone! I was sick to my stomach that day. We went to Boston Market and I couldn't hardly eat... I couldn't take a nap earlier that day while he was on 65 for hours... I sat looking at Google maps imagining where he was. Stephan went through a humongous storm... he called and said he couldn't see! I told him to pull over... I just kept thinking to myself, "I'll be so GLAD when he is finally here and this drive is OVER!!! The next thing was--- get ready for it. He didn't have enough money to get himself here and he was a quarter of the way here already. I had to go online and find a Western Union about an hour north of him not far from 65 to wire him money! I now understand how people's nerves can literally make them throw up. I told him where to exit and had to guide him all the way there, street by street. His minutes were running low from being on the phone with me and Rainey calling! (Shaking my head..) Once he got to the Western Union he bought more minutes and something to eat. I was NOT looking forward to Chicago. I've driven through Chicago by myself and it's easy to get confused! He had NEVER been through a place like this. My stomach churned the closer he got. Every road change, he called. I told him what was ahead and which lane to be in. Satellite imaging is great! I managed to get him across the Wisconsin state line and all the way to the city we live in.
Around 12:00 midnight, I was on the phone guiding him to our apartment. The closer he got, I could hear the rumble of his motor. I have never, ever in my whole life been so relieved! My baby arrived on my doorstep. He looked bad. He is so handsome... but he looked thin and dirty. I had made him a bed. He showered and we all went to bed. That night, something strange happened. As I layed down.... I could have sworn I saw a man stooped down peering into Stephan's room from ours.... I drifted off to sleep.
The next day, the sun was shining bright!! Stephan and I ate.. he told me "thank you" for his breakfast. We began talking and Stephan told me that he saw a man in the hall way right before he went to sleep!! Chills ran over me!!! He freaked out when I told him what I saw... and it was the same man. "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12
Oh for goodness sake... this battle is very real. Stephan and I had a long talk about his plans and about God's plans for his life. He said he was really looking forward to church the following Sunday! He actually asked me about church first! : )
Stephan and I had a great first week together. We laughed, we shopped for groceries. He never left my side, nor did he ask to leave our house during the day. That had been one of my concerns...
Sunday came- he wanted to sit on the front row! We told him to lead the way... He did, and we all sat front and center! He even dressed so nice!
The second week, I began to see even more changes. He gave up rap music... He has had NO emotional outbursts!! I've gave him cash twice to run in a store to grab something for me and he has given me back my change! I haven't had to worry with hiding my purse. He's been pleasant, fun.... a pure joy!
I've noticed that he's put positive things on his facebook. He even put the Bible as one of his favorite books. He changed his location... he removed some things! He made a comment to one of his friends that we had always been behind him and now he's moved to WI to be with us. One day he updated his status to say that he had moved and wanted to change his life for the better. He wanted to make something of himself. He also said that he gave God all the glory for taking care of him and keeping him alive during these last several years! He tells us he loves us all the time.
Stephan doesn't know about my blog... but I did tell him that I had been praying for God to protect him all this time... for God to protect him even from himself!! He said, "you know... He has! There were so many times I could have died!" I told him that perhaps God was giving him a chance to make something different of himself. I reminded Stephan of all his great qualities and that with God all things were possible!
Stephan took up golf again! He never ceases to amaze me! He is so talented in all he does. When he puts his mind to something... he gives it 250% and he does it well... We have a driving range near our house.
Stephan told Richard that he wanted to try to get on where Richard works. Richard is the manager there... but the decision is also up to the owner/president. Chuck came to WI to visit the company here and wanted to have lunch with Stephan. They did... and had a great talk. This is not the first time Chuck has taken time to eat lunch with Stephan. He also did when we lived in AL. He's a great guy! Stephan did tell us sometime back that he would never work for "this company" until he felt he could do so without disappointing his dad or Chuck. I really admired and respected Stephan for that decision. Stephan's an all in or all out kinda guy! Stephan asking Chuck for a job is a huge deal. It means Stephan is wanting things to be different! Chuck had dinner with us one day last week and talked to all of us. He said, "We're only going to discuss this once... I never want to talk of it again... but I am excited about Stephan coming on board, but also in protection of our company will require Stephan to be drug tested once a month. It will be on company expense and reported to me and our company lawyer!" He said, "There could also be random tests... and this will last for one year, then we will assess how you are doing and go from there. Fair?" He also told Stephan in all candidness... that he didn't want his decision to hire Stephan to make him look like an idiot... I respect that! After the hard conversation, we ended with Stephan's ability to learn quickly and his efficiency. It's true... Whatever Stephan wants to do, he learns it from front to back and side to side and does it well. Chuck's comment was, "Now if you can use that talent toward good things... you are gonna be very valuable in this company!
Stephan started his new job yesterday!! He's working 40+ hours a week!! Richard came home last night and told me that Stephan had learned more in one day than most anyone he had ever known! He said Stephan was smarter than most of his lead people!!! Wow... what a compliment!
Stephan will get to start a retirement plan... and as he says... make a lot of money to buy a car he would like to have. He said he's going to save for a year, then buy it only financing a little to start building his credit!! Wow... I'm so proud that he's thinking about these things : )
Stephan has also gained 15 pounds these last three weeks! He looks so good... He seems happy! He does talk to Rainey on occasion and Caleb maybe once a week... but you know, I caught Stephan giving Caleb really good advice the other day. (Caleb just had a baby with his girlfriend.) They are not getting along... Stephan told him that "once you involve yourself in a sexual relationship with a girl, it just complicates things- it takes the relationship to a different level.. now she got pregnant and had a baby and you don't even know if you love her." You need to find love before all the sexual stuff!" I wanted to jump in and say, "love and Marriage" before the sexual stuff, but I didn't! Stephan's growing.... he really is. He also said that prayer has made the biggest difference in his life. He says he prays every morning and every night. He said that he knows that God is going before him.
For now, my fears have been subsided... life is good! My son is doing so well.... We have conversations about temptations and future relationships and how to always be on guard... I pray for him everyday.... I pray he continues allowing God to determine his footsteps and trusts God as he walks....
Thank you God for your many blessings!!!! I know for sure that our move here involves answers to my many prayers... thank you God for going before us all- even when we don't understand where or why You're leading us where You are... I love you Lord..................
