I seriously can't believe it's been over 8 months since I've updated my blog. Wow, a lot has changed since my last post. In September, I celebrated my 43rd birthday. Gosh, am I that old? We went to Alabama in November to welcome our second grandchild into the world. There's nothing in the world like grandchildren : ) My oldest just turned 2 in January and now the youngest is over a month old now. Time sure does fly. We also went to Alabama for Christmas... What a joyful time.
Golly gee, where do I start? Last time I posted on here Rainey still lived in Alabama. She moved up here to Wisconsin to be with Stephan during the summer. He moved out of our place before she arrived into his own apartment, which is near the plant where he works. It may have been May or June when she got here. If you remember in previous posts, we were charging Stephan rent, which we were saving for him and all of his money he had saved was readily available for his deposit and other things he needed.
After Rainey moved, we didn't see Stephan as much for a few weeks. I was ok with that. I know he's got to establish his home here with her. I also felt in my heart that Rainey felt uncomfortable at our home. Maybe she felt as if we would judge her for marijuana being a part of who she was... She knew we were Christians and strong in our faith, but I wanted her to know us and our hearts. Except for the grace of God- there goes I, right? We're not the judge, nor are we perfect... I don't want to imagine what my own life would be without Christ!
Now that Rainey was here, she was part of our family. That was just the way I felt. I prayed and was honest with God... I don't want Stephan drinking. I don't want her smoking pot... I want my son and the girl he loves to have life as easy and as pain free as possible. I think we all want that for our kids. I saw the strongholds in their life as being something that was holding them back from experiencing life at its fullest. It was also holding them back from who they could become. Hiding all this in my heart, I knew I was on a mission field. A bigger one!
For those first few weeks- maybe two weeks. Stephan and Rainey did not attend church with us. I had expected that they wouldn't, however, I did not loose hope. I remember one day Stephan calling us and asking us if we wanted to go play tennis with them across from where we lived! They drove over and we walked to the tennis courts. I had never played tennis a day in my life, but couldn't wait to try! We really had a wonderful time! Richard and Stephan are so dang competitive! Plus, either of them could be stand up comedian's!! All of us cutting up made for such a great time that day. I think maybe Rainey realized that day that we weren't these stiff necked, stick in the mud parents, or atleast I hope she did.
It wasn't long after that day that we played tennis again... and again. We've went down to Lake Michigan three times now. Twice last summer... the last time we took a picnic. It was Rainey's idea. We also went down to the lake during the first snow. It was really cool being at the Lake, which looks like the ocean, with snow on the ground. We've went to play putt putt together twice. We've went to a park and walked, looking at the river and the geese. Most importantly, after those first few weeks, Stephan and Rainey both started attending church with us and have only missed a few Sunday's since. It's been an awesome ride.... We all go out to lunch when church services are over and they both usually wind up coming back to our house to spend the evening. We watch movies... Richard taught Stephan how to play chess. Everything goes great as long as Stephan wins!!!! Holy cow! He cracks me up! Rainey and I talk or watch movies. It's nice having a girl around and we are getting close...
Rainey was here for about 3 months before she found a job. She had to stop smoking pot and she did. She actually wound up talking to me about pot and it's effects on the human body even before she started applying for a job and that is really what seemed to break the ice in our relationship. You know, I wasn't hard on her... I didn't give her all my thought out advice. I did talk about how smoking it was harmful and most of all, it's illegal. I talked to her about taking care of her body... I'm one of these weird, all organic, non-toxic people who cares deeply for my health to the point that I study about holistic medicine and all-natural this, that and the other all the time! I did talk to her about my relationship with God as well. She told me that she didn't want to smoke pot forever, but she also thought that it was ok to have it legalized to use for medicinal purposes! Oh me...
She told me she had to take one day at a time... I totally agree... Rome wasn't built in a day.
God extended His grace upon me the day I was saved and took me on a journey to where I am now... and there's more to come! I have so much more to learn myself... If God can use me to get her started, she will also be on the most exciting journey she's ever been on.
I love to cook! My husband says that I should be a chef : ) Of course he's bias.... and has to say those things if he wants to eat, but I admit, I can make a few killer dishes! Rainey wanted to learn how to make one of my chicken dishes, so I told her to come over. When she arrived, I was her guide, but she made the chicken all by herself and it was great!
She called one day to see if I'd meet her for lunch, so we met at Jersey Mikes! She's sent me some Pin's in Pinterest and wanted me to help her make some gifts for her family for Christmas. We had a really great time putting those together. We laughed and talked as I helped her.
Stephan and Rainey come over about 3-4 times a week to hang out : ) I sometimes think it's so cool that they want to hang out with us so much... but then.... they also eat dinner every time they come! Either we are cool or my cooking is- either way- I am honored they come! Ha Ha! Stephan and Richard have also began to work out together. They're really having fun with that! Stephan's gained almost 50 pounds now and he looks great!
Although these last several months have been great, we have had a few tough times as well. Stephan is still drinking beer and just can't drink two. He and Rainey got into a fight at their apartment, he was drunk and so was she, so the cops were called. About 12am one morning, I got a call from Rainey telling me Stephan was in jail! JAIL!! I thought we had left all that in Alabama!!! All I could think to say when we hung up was, "Oh dear Lord God... and Richard's out of town!" He was, he was in NC on business. Sigh.....................
When Stephan got the job that he's currently at, he had to volunteer to take random drug tests whenever the president of the company wanted him too. If you're new to this blog, my husband Richard is the plant manager where Stephan they both work and it's by the grace of God that Stephan got the job there! If Stephan doesn't show up for work because he was in jail, he would automatically loose his job! Rainey said he could be bailed out... and told me that Stephan had the money to bail himself out, but he needed me to come pick him up. I went down there... At 12am the place looked closed, but I knew it wasn't! I walked in to where I saw a security camera glaring down upon me! An officer came inside and I told him who I was here for. I have to say, situations like this have a way of making you feel about a half inch tall. I wondered if the officer thought I looked like a scumbag mom. Then I thought- who cares-- I'm at the jail! It doesn't get much worse than this anyway, so why worry about it!
Stephan paid his bail, but I brought him home with (me!) He was in no shape to return home with Rainey!! He was drunk and not that it did any good that night, but we had a really good heart to heart that I prayed he would remember in the morning- at least bits and pieces!
Stephan has also wrecked and totaled another car during this time of absence from blogging. Stephan has a court date now and has lost his license for 6 months... So now, Rainey is having to take him to work or he has to get a ride.
He and Rainey were also in another altercation where the neighbors were involved, called the police... blah, blah... end of story- Stephan was charged with a domestic dispute, not by Rainey, but by a neighbor. He's awaiting a court date for that! Alcohol makes him a different person. Tangled webs..............
Positive!! --He is paying his bills on time and never asks for anything. I am really proud of him in this area! I think it took wrecking his car (again) and going to jail (again) to make him realize he needed to make some changes (again!) Stephan is just the kind of guy who has to learn from his mistakes, he can't do anything the easy way.
I see little changes daily... better decisions made at times and caring a little more about his health as time goes by. I see Rainey trying to keep house, decorate and make weekly menu's. I gave her a print out that I use that helps me a lot! She shops with it now. I see her becoming more established here and enjoying spending time with us. She laughs and jokes with us. Sometimes I can't believe they like hanging out with us so much! Again- it may be the food! Ha Ha! Where we are now at this moment in time and even after all the above has happened, it's definitely better than where we were when I started this blog. We try to love Stephan with the love that God bestows on us ourselves. He's a great kid! He's come a long way.
