Stephan's been staying with his brother and wife for the last few days. Well, let me say "when" he's there he's staying with them. Right now Stephan's homeless... if it weren't for his brother, I don't know where he'd stay.. In his car I guess! He's almost out of options!
Stephan being in their home has reeked havoc on their marriage in just a short time- one week to be specific! He say's he'll be home at 10:00- then he doesn't show, or he'll come in at 12:00 knowing they have a baby and that Brandon has to work the next day! He says he's going to church with them- they save him a seat- he stands them up! He comes in drunk... He really embarrassed them in front of Ellie's friend Hannah the other night... the list goes on.
Part of a "sorta planned out plan" for the near future is Stephan moving here!!! You'll have to re-read some posts to catch up.... In the mean time, he's staying there to pay off a ticket. He still has a job... He's wanting to get a few pay checks under his belt, etc.
Richard and I bought a new place here. We're moving in two weeks! Yep..... two weeks! I've been up there for the last three weeks painting, scraping, putting in new this and new that! You know the drill! Since hearing of Stephan coming here, I can say it's put a damper on my excitement. I love him! Oh, gosh I love him!!! But he lies... he steals... he comes home drunk... he's loud... he makes our life pretty miserable at times! Since moving to WI, Richard and I have been pals. We go on dates, we go get coffee, we eat ice cream! Am I about to relive the last three years all over again??? OR- has this time apart from us done Stephan some good? He's lived on his own, he's paid his car insurance and his rent. Well, for as long as he had the apartment anyway. He didn't get to live with Travis long enough to pay rent or split rent... whatever they were gonna do...
I don't understand the Travis situation very well. Stephan says he's afraid of him now... Stephan's stuff is still in his apartment and he won't go get it. I duhh no....
Stephan has mentioned coming here, getting a good job, starting school. That all sounds really great. Stephan's said a lot of good things! I'm really believing Stephan says what we want to hear. Richard and I were talking last night on our way home. I said, "How long did it take Stephan to find "Caleb?" How long did it take him to find "Justin?" How long did it take for him to find "Antonio?" You know, it won't take him long to find another "friend" here that drinks and does drugs too! I told Richard that my time of being hopeful is almost over. I'm bracing myself for another episode of "Days of my Life!" I don't want it to be this way.
I wish I trusted his word more, but I can't.
I can't cure him.... I can't do anything for him! All I can do is let him destroy my demeanor all over again to where I don't want to even face my neighbors out of embarrassment! Now, we're moving into a Condo community, which makes having neighbors even worse!!!! Richard and I don't plan on living here too long, so we went the condo route, now I wish we'd bought a house!
If he gets here and starts it all over again, we will have to tell him to leave... We've done it before. We want to assist him in moving forward, yet he has to help us help him!!! If he won't, we can't do it again....
I can't! Things like this destroy lives and those lives around the addict. It destroys marriages and homes... it's ugly.
God give us wisdom...
Monday, June 24, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Son, Draw Your Sword!
Gheezey weezey... Poor Stephan, he's been up and down these last few days! My emotions haven't been spared any either! It seems that there was a Building 429 concert at our church we attended in Alabama and I had heard that Stephan was going! Wow! I thought to myself, "I can't believe he's going.. on his own!" This was a major step in the right direction! I was so excited... until a few hours later....
It appears that Stephan and Travis did go to the concert. They were asked to enter the building from the parking lot, because they were caught harassing girls for their phone numbers... Once inside the building, two younger boys were impressing their girlfriends by throwing spit wads at the back of Stephan and Travis' head. Stephan punched on guy in the face then left the sanctuary and headed to the church play ground. During their visit to the church play ground- they were asked to leave church premises! Another issue is that my oldest son, Brandon was on security staff... Brandon was involved in the removal of Stephan and his friend, Travis.
Stephan didn't know that Brandon was on the security staff until the next day when he called "telling on himself" as Stephan always does! I told him that Brandon was on staff- Stephan kept repeating, "OH my gosh, Brandon was on the security staff? OH my gosh... Brandon's on security! OH My GOSH!!" I think for some reason, Stephan was humbly embarrassed. Not sure why... but he was! He even texted (to my surprise) Brandon the next day apologizing! I guess at the church, he just thought Brandon was being "bossy big brother!" Nope... not this time!
As Stephan was telling on himself- I could tell he was also drunk! He and Travis had been doing so well! Long story short- my phone conversation with Stephan ended with one frustrated mom- me.. and one drunk totally frustrated Stephan (because) Travis don't drink... or he didn't until Stephan came along. Of course Stephan and I talked about all this, me, trying my best not to loose it! It seemed that as Stephan and I were talking, Travis left their apartment on foot, drunk, in his underwear! Stephan was mortified! He was really panicked not knowing WHERE he was, WHERE he was going, OR if he would get arrested for public indecency and drunkenness! Stephan said Travis didn't have his phone... and he didn't know weather to go looking for him or not! I told Stephan to stay put!!! I told him HE didn't need to be driving drunk! He said, "oh I never do that!!" I said, "then how did you get home from the church??" He said, "OH yeah!!!" I know I shouldn't have said this... but I did... I said, "Well, you are experiencing a little of what I've been through- through the years with you- it's not fun is it?" He said, "No.. it's not!" Then he went on to explain how it's easier to pull someone down than to pull someone up and how he know's he a leader and this was all his fault! I DID tell him that Travis "was" also a big boy and he didn't have to drink it!
Well, needless to say... here we go again. Poor Stephan trying his best to learn from the terrible mistakes he makes. One after another... When will he begin to see that all this is an unending battle unless he draws his sword and puts an end to the enemies charge? What will finally be "enough" to make him see that all this never ends well?
Richard and I were walking along Lake Michigan yesterday when we received a call from Stephan. He said that he could now pass a drug test! (No pot in his system!) That's something to praise him for!! And we are very proud of him for that! But... then he told us that Travis is kicking him out! When we asked why, he told us that he had invited Rainey over. (The girl that he broke up with recently.) Travis told Stephan it was a mistake! I believe Travis' life was a little less eventful before Stephan came along and Travis is wanting him out! Stephan mentioned moving in with Caleb and his parents- but Caleb just had a terrible motorcycle accident and is in a wheelchair AND Caleb just had a baby- AND Caleb's girlfriend lives there too! Stephan lived with Caleb a while back and felt in the way- plus Stephan doesn't need to be there anyway! Lot's of drinking goin' on in that house!!!
I heard Richard tell Stephan that we're always there for him and that we love him! I heard him say that our door is always open! Stephan had mentioned moving up here again. I love Stephan so much! I mean, I'm his mother! I love that boy with all my heart, then some! I see the goodness in him. I see his potential... I constantly remind him of it! Trouble is, Stephan's got to believe it! He's got to start trusting in God and trusting that God can bring out the best in him. I tell you, him moving here and things going topsy-turvy again... Well, my emotions may not be able to handle it! I'm still struggling with this move to WI in so many ways. We just bought a new place, which I'm already ready to move from and we haven't even moved in! The little girl in me wants to "do a Dorothy" from the Wizard of Oz, tap my heels and say, "I wanna go home, I wanna go home..." I miss Alabama. I miss familiarity. I miss my church. I most especially miss my kids, my little Jeremiah and my home there... I've gotta snap out of it! I know in my heart that God moved us here. There was too much that happened for me not to see it! Stephan's in "boot camp" in a way with us being here! He's having to support himself and his accomplishing that is more than we could have ever imagined 6 months ago!
I guess I'm scared... I don't know if I feel that Stephan is ready yet. I feel he hasn't graduated from the school of hard knocks quite yet. I know he could move here, get a job, maybe start Celebrate Recovery at church... the one we're visiting has one too! He could take classes... but would that happen?
Oh gracious... to fear is to not trust God! I know God is in control...
Let's just see what He does! I am praying..................... that's where my strength and power lies.
On a very positive- Stephan texted Richard the other day ( a long text) with scripture!!! It said that he has got to study to show himself approved, a workman that need not be ashamed.. He said that he can't simply have godly friends to become like Christ, but has to be like Christ to be Christ like! He has to rely on God and His Word before his life can change! That was good stuff! Sometimes it's like Stephan's on the fence. Well, he is. BUT when Stephan jumps off to God's side- it will be for real! Stephan's not one to make a commitment halfheartedly. He's also not a faker... Praying for my baby today...
It appears that Stephan and Travis did go to the concert. They were asked to enter the building from the parking lot, because they were caught harassing girls for their phone numbers... Once inside the building, two younger boys were impressing their girlfriends by throwing spit wads at the back of Stephan and Travis' head. Stephan punched on guy in the face then left the sanctuary and headed to the church play ground. During their visit to the church play ground- they were asked to leave church premises! Another issue is that my oldest son, Brandon was on security staff... Brandon was involved in the removal of Stephan and his friend, Travis.
Stephan didn't know that Brandon was on the security staff until the next day when he called "telling on himself" as Stephan always does! I told him that Brandon was on staff- Stephan kept repeating, "OH my gosh, Brandon was on the security staff? OH my gosh... Brandon's on security! OH My GOSH!!" I think for some reason, Stephan was humbly embarrassed. Not sure why... but he was! He even texted (to my surprise) Brandon the next day apologizing! I guess at the church, he just thought Brandon was being "bossy big brother!" Nope... not this time!
As Stephan was telling on himself- I could tell he was also drunk! He and Travis had been doing so well! Long story short- my phone conversation with Stephan ended with one frustrated mom- me.. and one drunk totally frustrated Stephan (because) Travis don't drink... or he didn't until Stephan came along. Of course Stephan and I talked about all this, me, trying my best not to loose it! It seemed that as Stephan and I were talking, Travis left their apartment on foot, drunk, in his underwear! Stephan was mortified! He was really panicked not knowing WHERE he was, WHERE he was going, OR if he would get arrested for public indecency and drunkenness! Stephan said Travis didn't have his phone... and he didn't know weather to go looking for him or not! I told Stephan to stay put!!! I told him HE didn't need to be driving drunk! He said, "oh I never do that!!" I said, "then how did you get home from the church??" He said, "OH yeah!!!" I know I shouldn't have said this... but I did... I said, "Well, you are experiencing a little of what I've been through- through the years with you- it's not fun is it?" He said, "No.. it's not!" Then he went on to explain how it's easier to pull someone down than to pull someone up and how he know's he a leader and this was all his fault! I DID tell him that Travis "was" also a big boy and he didn't have to drink it!
Well, needless to say... here we go again. Poor Stephan trying his best to learn from the terrible mistakes he makes. One after another... When will he begin to see that all this is an unending battle unless he draws his sword and puts an end to the enemies charge? What will finally be "enough" to make him see that all this never ends well?
Richard and I were walking along Lake Michigan yesterday when we received a call from Stephan. He said that he could now pass a drug test! (No pot in his system!) That's something to praise him for!! And we are very proud of him for that! But... then he told us that Travis is kicking him out! When we asked why, he told us that he had invited Rainey over. (The girl that he broke up with recently.) Travis told Stephan it was a mistake! I believe Travis' life was a little less eventful before Stephan came along and Travis is wanting him out! Stephan mentioned moving in with Caleb and his parents- but Caleb just had a terrible motorcycle accident and is in a wheelchair AND Caleb just had a baby- AND Caleb's girlfriend lives there too! Stephan lived with Caleb a while back and felt in the way- plus Stephan doesn't need to be there anyway! Lot's of drinking goin' on in that house!!!
I heard Richard tell Stephan that we're always there for him and that we love him! I heard him say that our door is always open! Stephan had mentioned moving up here again. I love Stephan so much! I mean, I'm his mother! I love that boy with all my heart, then some! I see the goodness in him. I see his potential... I constantly remind him of it! Trouble is, Stephan's got to believe it! He's got to start trusting in God and trusting that God can bring out the best in him. I tell you, him moving here and things going topsy-turvy again... Well, my emotions may not be able to handle it! I'm still struggling with this move to WI in so many ways. We just bought a new place, which I'm already ready to move from and we haven't even moved in! The little girl in me wants to "do a Dorothy" from the Wizard of Oz, tap my heels and say, "I wanna go home, I wanna go home..." I miss Alabama. I miss familiarity. I miss my church. I most especially miss my kids, my little Jeremiah and my home there... I've gotta snap out of it! I know in my heart that God moved us here. There was too much that happened for me not to see it! Stephan's in "boot camp" in a way with us being here! He's having to support himself and his accomplishing that is more than we could have ever imagined 6 months ago!
I guess I'm scared... I don't know if I feel that Stephan is ready yet. I feel he hasn't graduated from the school of hard knocks quite yet. I know he could move here, get a job, maybe start Celebrate Recovery at church... the one we're visiting has one too! He could take classes... but would that happen?
Oh gracious... to fear is to not trust God! I know God is in control...
Let's just see what He does! I am praying..................... that's where my strength and power lies.
On a very positive- Stephan texted Richard the other day ( a long text) with scripture!!! It said that he has got to study to show himself approved, a workman that need not be ashamed.. He said that he can't simply have godly friends to become like Christ, but has to be like Christ to be Christ like! He has to rely on God and His Word before his life can change! That was good stuff! Sometimes it's like Stephan's on the fence. Well, he is. BUT when Stephan jumps off to God's side- it will be for real! Stephan's not one to make a commitment halfheartedly. He's also not a faker... Praying for my baby today...
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Undeniable Praises
For many of you who have been following my blog- Caleb (Stephan's friend) is home and in recovery from his near fatal motorcycle accident. It may take six months before he is walking again... Richard texted him back and forth the other day and as you know- Caleb just became a dad. Life has really taken a new twist for him. He and his girlfriend are living with his parents... Caleb told Richard to pray for them. He said," I didn't think we were gonna make it for a while. Maybe it was the hormones, but she is taking care of me and she's such a good mom. All I am concerned with right now is providing for my family..."
I was like: Wow! Caleb and Stephan both have a foundation and both know what it means to let God guide their life, but through these past few years they have both been to the school of hard knocks by choice!!! For Caleb to care about providing for his family is an ultimate praise! Perhaps this is what God sent Caleb's way to shake him up a bit. His life was spared....!!!! I told Caleb in a text that God was watching over him that night. I also reminded Caleb that God has plans for his life. Caleb responded with, " I know...thank you, Love you mom!" Yes, he calls me mom : )
Stephan is continuing to do well living with Travis- He seems upbeat and happier than I've seen him in a really long while... They are still running and working out! Stephan's still working... Since he opted out of his lease with the apartment he was living in with Rainey, he does have a fine to pay and a utility bill to take care of, but he really seems to be doing well. OH-- and I think I mentioned in a previous post that I suggested that Stephan go to a church that his former youth pastor, Joey is now pastor of! Stephan didn't really want to go to the church we were going to when we left Alabama. I guess for Stephan it was difficult... people knowing his past. I understand that. Well, since moving in with Travis.... (They live right across the street from Pastor Joey's church!!!) I mean... right across the STREET!!!!!! I just smile at how good God is sometimes!!!!!!!
God, continue to protect Stephan with your mighty hand. Provide for his needs... As I've prayed before- send people his way to speak to him and let it be undeniable that it's You.... Draw him close to You and guide him... Thank you for being a patient God and loving us all right where we are....
In Jesus Name,
Amen
I was like: Wow! Caleb and Stephan both have a foundation and both know what it means to let God guide their life, but through these past few years they have both been to the school of hard knocks by choice!!! For Caleb to care about providing for his family is an ultimate praise! Perhaps this is what God sent Caleb's way to shake him up a bit. His life was spared....!!!! I told Caleb in a text that God was watching over him that night. I also reminded Caleb that God has plans for his life. Caleb responded with, " I know...thank you, Love you mom!" Yes, he calls me mom : )
Stephan is continuing to do well living with Travis- He seems upbeat and happier than I've seen him in a really long while... They are still running and working out! Stephan's still working... Since he opted out of his lease with the apartment he was living in with Rainey, he does have a fine to pay and a utility bill to take care of, but he really seems to be doing well. OH-- and I think I mentioned in a previous post that I suggested that Stephan go to a church that his former youth pastor, Joey is now pastor of! Stephan didn't really want to go to the church we were going to when we left Alabama. I guess for Stephan it was difficult... people knowing his past. I understand that. Well, since moving in with Travis.... (They live right across the street from Pastor Joey's church!!!) I mean... right across the STREET!!!!!! I just smile at how good God is sometimes!!!!!!!
God, continue to protect Stephan with your mighty hand. Provide for his needs... As I've prayed before- send people his way to speak to him and let it be undeniable that it's You.... Draw him close to You and guide him... Thank you for being a patient God and loving us all right where we are....
In Jesus Name,
Amen
Getting Rid of the Past- Pruning Our Tree Many Years Ago....
A letter I sent my oldest son, Brandon and his wife Ellie today. I pray for them as young parents. They are both so grounded in the Lord and are such a good mommy and daddy to now 5 month old little Jeremiah. I'm so grateful that Richard and I met the Lord and spared Brandon and Stephan a life they never new. When Jesus Christ steps in- the old pass away and all things become new! I am so thankful today... for my life in Him! He took all my junk and made something beautiful out of it. While still not perfect... I strive and struggle to be a little more like Him each day. Parenting never stops... It just takes on a different role. I hope this was encouragement to them today : )
From Mom:
A good parent takes all the good stuff that he/she's learned from their parents and writes them down on their "to do" list when they become parents themselves! They also cross out everything that he/she feels that were mistakes made by their parents and claim to never do themselves.... This way, every generation becomes better and better and the children are more and more emotionally healthy and stable. Remember that our children will not go through life without making mistakes... but it's how you handle the mistakes that makes all the difference. It's that solid, Biblical foundation you build that will always give them something firm to stand on.
Dad and I were not perfect at all- we made lots of mistakes! - We did cross out a bunch of stuff that would hopefully never be passed on... Stuff you guys never even knew about. Sometimes I think back to that time and wonder what you and Stephan would have become if you had been raised in a different environment by a "different" Richard and Christel. That thought is a scary one! I'm so thankful for the day we and the Lord God wrote out our pros and cons list of married couples in our family tree that we wanted to model our marriage after... I'm also so thankful that we made our list of pros and cons of things we wanted to pass along to our children...... So... with the Lords help we cut ourselves out of the tree we were planted in and asked the Lord for a new seed! It grew and grew.... I only hope you guys "now" have a little more to work with in your tree than we did. : ) You are already off to a much better start- praise God! And... so much farther ahead than we were at your age.
I hope that Dad and I can be of great encouragement to you both on your journey. When Jeremiah was born- a new "branch" was started. Now is a good time to start thinking about pruning "your" tree, but--- you don't have to tell us what you cut out! Ha ha!! I know he will grow into a Godly young man and do great things for our God one day! You guys are already wonderful parents!! Enjoy the journey.... : )
For future reference: 
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Having Simple Faith
These last few days have been very hard for Stephan. He and Rainey officially broke up. This time may be different. She moved all her belongings out of her and Stephan's apartment one night when Stephan was at work.
I bought Stephan a book on dating. Actually, I bought him two books- the other one was on what to look for in a spouse. He has been reading one of the books! I just about fell out of my seat when he told me he had!! I really was quite certain that the books were a waste of money... but just in case... I purchased them! I should have had more faith... He did tell me that he's only reading the one book. He said he couldn't read two books at once. I was one happy Mama!
Stephan called me one day before they broke up to tell me that he and Rainey were not compatible! He listed several reasons: She was not saved. He was not perfect. He needed to get himself right with God before trying to change her... I also stated in my last post that I reminded Stephan that no one could change Rainey but God. Stephan's searching and still reading the book even though she's gone.
Stephan's rent was due three days ago and he can't pay it. Rainey would have paid the other half if she were still there, but she's not, so Stephan has had to make some decisions. Stephan has become friends with Travis... Travis works with Stephan, lives on his own, is trying to become more responsible (per Stephan.) Stephan said that Travis has done drugs, but doesn't any longer. He did drink some.. but doesn't any more... and he stopped smoking pot, so he could get a higher paying job! Travis has an interview coming up soon and I really hope it works out for him.
Last night, Stephan called us again. I could hear hurt, anger and despair in his voice... He said that Travis had helped him pack up all his stuff in the apartment and it was all waiting to be loaded onto a truck. He said he was moving in with Travis. I really wish- and suggested- that Travis move in with Stephan, because Stephan's apartment was in a much better location! Stephan informed me that Travis just paid his rent and didn't have the money for half of Stephan's, so they could stay there. The thought crossed my mind to pay the other half of Stephan's rent so this could happen, but I stopped the thought before I could even make the decision not to! I can tell that God is really working in Stephan's life right now and I can't get in the way....
He was talking to Richard and I about his drinking and pot again. He said, "I can't drink because it makes me so angry and crazy and I can't smoke pot because it makes me lazy AND I can't get a real job! That's just shot out... I'd rather smoke pot cause I can still drive... but pot is illegal and alcohol is LEGAL!! It's all a dead end street anyway. I've had so much energy since I quit smoking pot- but gosh, I want some real bad!"
He and Richard went over the benefits of stopping it all. Stephan agreed...
The conversation then turned to girls. It appears that Stephan said some pretty horrible things to Rainey before they broke up. She also had a few choice things to say herself according to Stephan, but Stephan said, "everything I said was true and everything she said was a lie!" Oh my goodness...
Richard talked to him about building a non-sexual dating relationship with someone. He told Stephan that he needed someone to "date," someone to go get ice cream with, someone to get to know for who they are inside. He reminded him when you throw the sex into a relationship- it's doomed before it's started, because it's based on sex, not who the other person really is and eliminates all the things you need to be considering- like IF you ARE compatible!
Stephan also told us that he and Travis went to church last Wed. night! I was really proud of him. Stephan's searching... He's finding out what he's made of. He's finding out that he can do this... We asked Stephan if he was praying and he told us no... He said, " I can't! If I do, -then I mess up, I'll let God down!"
We had Stephan on speaker phone... We gently reminded him that we all mess up and God knows our hearts. Richard told him all he needed to do was pray four words... I'm. Sorry. Help. Me.
He told Stephan that if he wasn't praying, God couldn't help! He said that these four words was a start and that God hears the prayers of a sincere heart.
I sent Stephan a text this morning... "God inhabits the prayers of those He loves. When you fall, ask him to pick you up. When you're afraid, ask for His help. When you're scared, ask for His arms to protect you. GOD doesn't want you to abandon Him because of your guilt... He wants your heart and just simple trust. Satan will continually remind you of stuff you feel guilty for, so that you stay away from God. Always remember that faith and "feelings" are not the same thing. FAITH is trusting- although you might be afraid... It's trusting God's direction for your life- more than your own direction for yourself!!"
I hope that as Stephan makes this transition in his life that God shows up more than ever! I pray that God would bring a girl into Stephan's life that he is compatible with... a girl that Loves God more than she loves Stephan! - That's who I pray for.... Maybe it's Rainey... Maybe it's not...
I bought Stephan a book on dating. Actually, I bought him two books- the other one was on what to look for in a spouse. He has been reading one of the books! I just about fell out of my seat when he told me he had!! I really was quite certain that the books were a waste of money... but just in case... I purchased them! I should have had more faith... He did tell me that he's only reading the one book. He said he couldn't read two books at once. I was one happy Mama!
Stephan called me one day before they broke up to tell me that he and Rainey were not compatible! He listed several reasons: She was not saved. He was not perfect. He needed to get himself right with God before trying to change her... I also stated in my last post that I reminded Stephan that no one could change Rainey but God. Stephan's searching and still reading the book even though she's gone.
Stephan's rent was due three days ago and he can't pay it. Rainey would have paid the other half if she were still there, but she's not, so Stephan has had to make some decisions. Stephan has become friends with Travis... Travis works with Stephan, lives on his own, is trying to become more responsible (per Stephan.) Stephan said that Travis has done drugs, but doesn't any longer. He did drink some.. but doesn't any more... and he stopped smoking pot, so he could get a higher paying job! Travis has an interview coming up soon and I really hope it works out for him.
Last night, Stephan called us again. I could hear hurt, anger and despair in his voice... He said that Travis had helped him pack up all his stuff in the apartment and it was all waiting to be loaded onto a truck. He said he was moving in with Travis. I really wish- and suggested- that Travis move in with Stephan, because Stephan's apartment was in a much better location! Stephan informed me that Travis just paid his rent and didn't have the money for half of Stephan's, so they could stay there. The thought crossed my mind to pay the other half of Stephan's rent so this could happen, but I stopped the thought before I could even make the decision not to! I can tell that God is really working in Stephan's life right now and I can't get in the way....
He was talking to Richard and I about his drinking and pot again. He said, "I can't drink because it makes me so angry and crazy and I can't smoke pot because it makes me lazy AND I can't get a real job! That's just shot out... I'd rather smoke pot cause I can still drive... but pot is illegal and alcohol is LEGAL!! It's all a dead end street anyway. I've had so much energy since I quit smoking pot- but gosh, I want some real bad!"
He and Richard went over the benefits of stopping it all. Stephan agreed...
The conversation then turned to girls. It appears that Stephan said some pretty horrible things to Rainey before they broke up. She also had a few choice things to say herself according to Stephan, but Stephan said, "everything I said was true and everything she said was a lie!" Oh my goodness...
Richard talked to him about building a non-sexual dating relationship with someone. He told Stephan that he needed someone to "date," someone to go get ice cream with, someone to get to know for who they are inside. He reminded him when you throw the sex into a relationship- it's doomed before it's started, because it's based on sex, not who the other person really is and eliminates all the things you need to be considering- like IF you ARE compatible!
Stephan also told us that he and Travis went to church last Wed. night! I was really proud of him. Stephan's searching... He's finding out what he's made of. He's finding out that he can do this... We asked Stephan if he was praying and he told us no... He said, " I can't! If I do, -then I mess up, I'll let God down!"
We had Stephan on speaker phone... We gently reminded him that we all mess up and God knows our hearts. Richard told him all he needed to do was pray four words... I'm. Sorry. Help. Me.
He told Stephan that if he wasn't praying, God couldn't help! He said that these four words was a start and that God hears the prayers of a sincere heart.
I sent Stephan a text this morning... "God inhabits the prayers of those He loves. When you fall, ask him to pick you up. When you're afraid, ask for His help. When you're scared, ask for His arms to protect you. GOD doesn't want you to abandon Him because of your guilt... He wants your heart and just simple trust. Satan will continually remind you of stuff you feel guilty for, so that you stay away from God. Always remember that faith and "feelings" are not the same thing. FAITH is trusting- although you might be afraid... It's trusting God's direction for your life- more than your own direction for yourself!!"
I hope that as Stephan makes this transition in his life that God shows up more than ever! I pray that God would bring a girl into Stephan's life that he is compatible with... a girl that Loves God more than she loves Stephan! - That's who I pray for.... Maybe it's Rainey... Maybe it's not...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)