Richard and I visited family in North Carolina last week. Both of our families are there. I grew up in North Carolina where the summers were long, hot and summer vacation seemed to last forever when I got out of school. I was the barefoot, long brown-haired, little girl that you might see running around everywhere I went -if you were to travel down Route 3, which was a dirt road back then. I spent a lot of days at Grandma's listening to her hum while she cooked and eating raw pie crust from pies she would make. I loved playing with my cousins for endless hours during the days. We would play until the lightning bugs came out. About that time, I'd hear Mama calling for us. I also loved staying with Nanny and Papa. My sister, Monica and my cousin, Kelly would go get in the bed with Papa where we'd beg him to tell us stories of the "old days" while Nanny warmed up the house and made pancakes and bacon.
Richard was born in Florida, but moved to North Carolina when he was seven. In his younger days, with messy blond hair and big blue eyes, he wore nothing but his favorite Tarzan underwear that his mother made for him and spent most of his time in the woods with his dogs, or at the creek below his house catching snakes! He was a rambler just like me... Richard and I had much in common back then although we didn't know it. We lived 20 minutes apart, went to different schools, but we didn't meet until I was 14 and he was 16. That was the day the Earth stood still...... Richard and I quickly fell in love. I'm writing it now and even as an adult I know that what we felt was real. Our dating years was way before cell phones and text messages. We had to do all that the hard way. When Richard sent me a text it was in the form of a hand written letter in an empty Hardees cup thrown out into Mama's flower bed as he drove by. He'd have to wait till he got home to call me to tell me it was there. We were married at the ripe old ages of 17 and 19... I don't know what we were thinking, but we couldn't be happier. We had our fair share of hardship when the honeymoon wore off and real life took hold of us. I wrote on generational sin in another post. We struggled the first five years of our marriage, but the Lord Jesus Christ had new plans...
Another thing that has happened since I last blogged was that we flew into Raleigh and visited Richard's mother, sister and brother for a few days, then we drove to Elkin to see my mother, sister, niece and the rest of my family. My aunt Betsy had a "get together" for us, which is the southern term for: Being surrounded by all the people you love all in one place for a certain period of time!! She invited everyone to her pool and almost everyone came. It was so nice seeing everyone and catching up on life. Our visit with Richard's family was just wonderful as well! It's always so great spending time with family.... I have the best family and I miss them terribly.
Before we left Wisconsin, we knew that Stephan and Rainey were going camping. They were going with three others; two 18 years olds and a 19 year old. Stephan is 22 and Rainey is 19.... I offered Stephan some advice before he left. One bit of advice was an idea I found on Pinterest of how to make cinnamon rolls in an orange peel on an open fire... The other bit of advice was not to buy beer for under age kids. --I also tagged a little- "I have been the parent of an under age child "(YOU)" that has had alcohol purchased for him BY someone old enough to drink it and I didn't appreciate it!... Don't be that person!" on the end of that sentence.
Well................. do I even need to finish this post? As Richard and I were getting into bed at his mother's house he said that Stephan had texted him to tell him that their trip had been cut short. In an explosive text, Stephan wrote explaining how mad he was, because they bought all this food, drove 4-5 hours to this camp ground in Michigan, spent $60.00 on a camp site for two nights only to be kicked out the very first night! The details:
1. He bought beer.
2. Rainey and the three other's were under age.
3. It was a family camp ground (lights out at 10.)
4. They were loud.
5. Someone complained.
6. Park Rangers showed up.
7. Park Rangers found beer and wanted to see all of their driver's license.
8. Four of five of the kids got $267.00 tickets for under age drinking.
Stephan, as impossible as it seems, didn't get any kind of ticket and he's the one who bought the beer!
The Park Rangers took all the beer, put out their fire and told them to evacuate the next morning by a certain time. When we got back to Wisconsin and had to hear this story in person. The most unbelievable part was that Stephan and Rainey both were mad at the Park Rangers instead of their own selves! How in the world can it be anyone's fault but their own? It's apparent that they both still have a lot of maturing and growing to do. Lots.....
I have explained to Stephan over and over how the consequence of sin bleeds into our lives if we continue to feed the beast that cuts us over and over again, if we allow it to rule our lives! He still can't see that making a wise choice to JUST take food and soft drinks would have allowed him to have a really fun, Park Ranger free weekend.
I'm still praying for wisdom to come to him. He has to do the asking though... In the meantime, Rainey will not have rent again this month due to her $267.00 ticket. They got into a really bad fight last night and I'm only guessing it's over the rent. Stephan can't blame her solely.... They both drank a lot of their rent money! It's lessons like these that will hopefully allow them to start wanting wisdom for themselves. Maybe one day they will be sick of being broke. Maybe one day they will realize they are "broken" and in need of a savior. The landlord will definitely come knocking of they don't pay... That has thankfully never happened! Jesus knocks on the door of their hearts all the time. I hope one day soon- they will open it and begin living life for Him.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Monday, August 17, 2015
Lord, Carry my Heavy Heart
I have found myself being very weary today. We've been in WI for two and a half years now and I'm ready to move. Richard has the plant here almost running without him and that's exactly what was supposed to happen. We followed the Lord to Wisconsin and I believe with all my heart He sent us here. As I've said before, Stephan was part of that plan. Stephan, two years ago was a full blown drug addict in Alabama. He was a very immature, skeletal image of the son I knew from birth. He was usually somewhere else, rather than his own mind and it was heart wrenching for me to see and have to experience on a day to day basis.
In the meantime, Stephan... and our oldest son, Brandon, his wife and our (then) newborn grandson stayed behind as we set out on our trek North to the great state of Wisconsin. Leaving my grandson almost caused me to have a nervous breakdown. Well, let me back up a bit... - Richard actually moved to Wisconsin one month before I did, when our grandson was only four days old. So, I guess if you consider sitting out on my front steps screaming and hyperventilating as Richard left for Wisconsin a nervous breakdown- then maybe I "did" have one. One month later, he came back for me. I cried all the way to Kentucky.
When we arrived at our apartment here there was two feet of snow. I felt alone and as empty as I ever had in my whole entire life. I pretty much didn't leave the apartment except to go to the grocery store for four months. Today, we live in a condo that we purchased here. I've never lived in a Condo, but ours is very nice.... We've given it an "Extreme Makeover" and I love it on the inside. However, I never want to live in another one. I'm smothered..... My home in Alabama was my dream home. It was also located in a very quiet neighborhood nestled nicely by a 25 acre lake. I woke every morning to the sound of geese whispering in my ears. Ahhhhhhh..... I miss it.
I am SO thankful to have had Stephan follow us here six months after we moved. I was very apprehensive at first, but he's been here all this time and he works for my husband at the plant. He has his own apartment, pays for everything and I'm very proud of him. He does still drink occasionally and I have a problem with it, but I do have to remind myself of my son two and a half years ago.
There's been mention of buying "yet" another plant, which was the plan from the beginning and when it happens, we will move again. Stephan has said that he would want to transfer with us. I would want that as well.
Although Stephan is doing "ok." there's just still things he will not give over to the Lord. Richard and I were talking in the car yesterday about the fact that Stephan "likes" being intoxicated. He does! It's just reality. So what do you do with that?
If you've followed my blog, you've read about Stephan's former friends- one being Caleb. The thought of even seeing Caleb's face made me want to vomit! However, I have come to the conclusion that although I want to, I can not blame Caleb or any other of Stephan's friends for Stephan's drug use or behavior in Alabama. Everyone makes their own decisions- including my son. He chose the path he took and he could have easily steered clear of it. He could have walked away. Why didn't he? He liked it.
With all of that said, I had to brace myself when I got the news a few weeks ago that Caleb was driving to Wisconsin to visit Stephan. I ain't gonna lie- I wanted to vomit, just like I just said... When those two are together, there is just nothing good that comes from it. NOTHING! I made my mind up that I was going to psyche myself out and prepare myself mentally for his arrival. I really hoped that (although I'd psyched myself out) that I would never see his face the whole time he was here! Not too much to ask for, right? BUT... if I do see his face I kept reminding myself that after all this time, Caleb has grown up some. He's 2.5 years older. He's going to college. He has a CHILD.... He's engaged and looking for a job. Everybody grows up right? The answer to that question is no... I have living proof in a few of my family members, a cousin for example, but anyhow.... HOPEFULLY Caleb "has."
The day came.... It was Sunday. To my disappointment, Stephan did not come to church. I guess in some way I imagined Stephan inviting him and I'd see him there because of both of their maturity levels had risen. Didn't happen.....They slept in, but wanted to come to our house to play corn hole after we got out of church and eat lunch of course. "Well," I thought... as I took a deep breath. It's time I be the adult and give this a shot. I had even thought of questions that I'd ask Caleb about his baby girl and about life in general. It's what Jesus would do!
He and Stephan walked in and they were both dressed like thugs. I hadn't seen Stephan looking so stupid in 2 years. Good Lord! I mean, what the heck? I actually felt queasy in my legs. Oh geeeez.... really?
Needless to say, Stephan has missed four days of work since his arrival. (Three of those days he did take off) but now has no PTO for Christmas. The other day, he called in with "pink eye." PINK EYE! Richard told him he needed to get meds because it was really contagious. He never went... and never had pink eye. It may have been "hangover eye." "Looks pretty much the same as pink eye, only not contagious!"
Since Caleb's arrival, Caleb, who is such a thinker and plans his vacations so wisely is mysteriously going to have to borrow money from Stephan to even get back to Alabama! Now, why would you drive 750 miles away from home without enough money to get you back? Those are questions I really have no option than to ponder... They also went out partying one night. It was after 11:00 when Rainey got off work. I can't think of anything good that happens after 11pm. can you? There was this video on facebook... I just won't go there. I just pray to God my Mama didn't see it before it was reported and removed by facebook!
Why? Just why?
I'm so sick of this. I'm sick of the emotional roller coaster it puts you through. Especially since he's been doing so well. My conclusion today is that Stephan is doing what he wants to do. He's supposed to be back at work today and Caleb is leaving Wednesday from my understanding. When Caleb leaves, Stephan will still have a heart issue..... He will still have a walking with the Lord issue.... He will still have a discernment issue....
I have to say, I gave Stephan and Caleb the benefit of the doubt when they came over two times this week. Yes, I actually made a double attempt... We had good visits while they were here. Don't get me wrong, Caleb does seem more mature in some ways, so does Stephan, but there's still the matter of just getting things right with God. Caleb has a baby to think about now. You'd think he would be kind of getting over the bull crap.
My heart is heavy today. I guess I'm wondering exactly "where" Stephan is. I'm so thankful he's here and that he comes over to work out with Richard and eats dinner here several times a week. Please Lord consider my heavy heart and help me carry it today....
In the meantime, Stephan... and our oldest son, Brandon, his wife and our (then) newborn grandson stayed behind as we set out on our trek North to the great state of Wisconsin. Leaving my grandson almost caused me to have a nervous breakdown. Well, let me back up a bit... - Richard actually moved to Wisconsin one month before I did, when our grandson was only four days old. So, I guess if you consider sitting out on my front steps screaming and hyperventilating as Richard left for Wisconsin a nervous breakdown- then maybe I "did" have one. One month later, he came back for me. I cried all the way to Kentucky.
When we arrived at our apartment here there was two feet of snow. I felt alone and as empty as I ever had in my whole entire life. I pretty much didn't leave the apartment except to go to the grocery store for four months. Today, we live in a condo that we purchased here. I've never lived in a Condo, but ours is very nice.... We've given it an "Extreme Makeover" and I love it on the inside. However, I never want to live in another one. I'm smothered..... My home in Alabama was my dream home. It was also located in a very quiet neighborhood nestled nicely by a 25 acre lake. I woke every morning to the sound of geese whispering in my ears. Ahhhhhhh..... I miss it.
I am SO thankful to have had Stephan follow us here six months after we moved. I was very apprehensive at first, but he's been here all this time and he works for my husband at the plant. He has his own apartment, pays for everything and I'm very proud of him. He does still drink occasionally and I have a problem with it, but I do have to remind myself of my son two and a half years ago.
There's been mention of buying "yet" another plant, which was the plan from the beginning and when it happens, we will move again. Stephan has said that he would want to transfer with us. I would want that as well.
Although Stephan is doing "ok." there's just still things he will not give over to the Lord. Richard and I were talking in the car yesterday about the fact that Stephan "likes" being intoxicated. He does! It's just reality. So what do you do with that?
If you've followed my blog, you've read about Stephan's former friends- one being Caleb. The thought of even seeing Caleb's face made me want to vomit! However, I have come to the conclusion that although I want to, I can not blame Caleb or any other of Stephan's friends for Stephan's drug use or behavior in Alabama. Everyone makes their own decisions- including my son. He chose the path he took and he could have easily steered clear of it. He could have walked away. Why didn't he? He liked it.
With all of that said, I had to brace myself when I got the news a few weeks ago that Caleb was driving to Wisconsin to visit Stephan. I ain't gonna lie- I wanted to vomit, just like I just said... When those two are together, there is just nothing good that comes from it. NOTHING! I made my mind up that I was going to psyche myself out and prepare myself mentally for his arrival. I really hoped that (although I'd psyched myself out) that I would never see his face the whole time he was here! Not too much to ask for, right? BUT... if I do see his face I kept reminding myself that after all this time, Caleb has grown up some. He's 2.5 years older. He's going to college. He has a CHILD.... He's engaged and looking for a job. Everybody grows up right? The answer to that question is no... I have living proof in a few of my family members, a cousin for example, but anyhow.... HOPEFULLY Caleb "has."
The day came.... It was Sunday. To my disappointment, Stephan did not come to church. I guess in some way I imagined Stephan inviting him and I'd see him there because of both of their maturity levels had risen. Didn't happen.....They slept in, but wanted to come to our house to play corn hole after we got out of church and eat lunch of course. "Well," I thought... as I took a deep breath. It's time I be the adult and give this a shot. I had even thought of questions that I'd ask Caleb about his baby girl and about life in general. It's what Jesus would do!
He and Stephan walked in and they were both dressed like thugs. I hadn't seen Stephan looking so stupid in 2 years. Good Lord! I mean, what the heck? I actually felt queasy in my legs. Oh geeeez.... really?
Needless to say, Stephan has missed four days of work since his arrival. (Three of those days he did take off) but now has no PTO for Christmas. The other day, he called in with "pink eye." PINK EYE! Richard told him he needed to get meds because it was really contagious. He never went... and never had pink eye. It may have been "hangover eye." "Looks pretty much the same as pink eye, only not contagious!"
Since Caleb's arrival, Caleb, who is such a thinker and plans his vacations so wisely is mysteriously going to have to borrow money from Stephan to even get back to Alabama! Now, why would you drive 750 miles away from home without enough money to get you back? Those are questions I really have no option than to ponder... They also went out partying one night. It was after 11:00 when Rainey got off work. I can't think of anything good that happens after 11pm. can you? There was this video on facebook... I just won't go there. I just pray to God my Mama didn't see it before it was reported and removed by facebook!
Why? Just why?
I'm so sick of this. I'm sick of the emotional roller coaster it puts you through. Especially since he's been doing so well. My conclusion today is that Stephan is doing what he wants to do. He's supposed to be back at work today and Caleb is leaving Wednesday from my understanding. When Caleb leaves, Stephan will still have a heart issue..... He will still have a walking with the Lord issue.... He will still have a discernment issue....
I have to say, I gave Stephan and Caleb the benefit of the doubt when they came over two times this week. Yes, I actually made a double attempt... We had good visits while they were here. Don't get me wrong, Caleb does seem more mature in some ways, so does Stephan, but there's still the matter of just getting things right with God. Caleb has a baby to think about now. You'd think he would be kind of getting over the bull crap.
My heart is heavy today. I guess I'm wondering exactly "where" Stephan is. I'm so thankful he's here and that he comes over to work out with Richard and eats dinner here several times a week. Please Lord consider my heavy heart and help me carry it today....
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Overcomer!!!
The Lord is still teaching me to be an overcomer and not let circumstances get me down. A few weeks ago, Brandon, Ellie, Jeremiah and Andrew came to visit. They were here for 9 days. If you've followed my blog, you know how hard it was for me to leave Alabama and move to Wisconsin. We've been in Wisconsin for almost two and a half years and some days just do not get any easier. My sweet babies, Jeremiah and Andrew are 2 and 6 months now and I miss them terribly. I am thankful that I get to fly down to see them about every 8-10 weeks. So very thankful!!!
But back to what I was saying, they were here for 9 days. We went to the Milwaukee Zoo, The Children's Museum, The Domes- a horticulture museum. We went to an authentic Columbian restaurant. Brandon and Ellie took our pass to the Harley Museum on a date. We went to the Mall and many places we'd wanted to show them! It was so much fun having my family here. My life was absolutely complete! Stephan and Rainey came over too... It was the best 9 days spent in a long time! It got even better: They left Jeremiah behind with me and Richard for 10 whole extra days when they went back home. That little Rascal- I could eat him to pieces! He is my love... we had so much fun. I took so many pictures and videos! He was so much fun!
We flew back to Alabama with Jeremiah and stayed there for about a week. I believe we were with Jeremiah for 24 whole days!!!! It was Heaven! Andrew is still having to be with Mommy, so I didn't get to keep him too, but I would've!!!! : ) Andrew is the squishiest little bundle of pure goodness! I could eat his cheeks off! I love holding and cuddling with him so much. After 24 days of Heaven- I had to fly back at some point. They always go to the airport with us and parting is such sweet sorrow. It's like leaving a part of me behind. It's almost too much. I try to readjust as we board the plane. By the time we are in Atlanta, reality has set in once again. When I feel the cool Wisconsin air I should feel home, but I don't.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I texted Rainey the other day- actually, she and I exchanged about 50 texts.. I was really able to talk to her about Jesus more than ever before. She has really grown over the last year of being here. She wrote Richard and I a text not too long back that she was so glad to be here in WI with us and that being here, being in church and having us in her life was impacting her life like never before. Little does she know that it's not us... it's Christ in us! She said we were amazing people.... but no.... HE is amazing! I pray earnestly that she will come to know Him soon. As we were talking about events that have happened in her life, she opened up to me again about a lot of things and I asked her when she wanted me to pray with her to receive Christ. You see, this is the second time this opportunity has happened, but she just won't. Not yet.... I gave her some scripture to chew on and told her today was the day of salvation. I will continue praying towards it.
I did ask Rainey what her goals in life were... She said she wanted to marry Stephan, have a family and live a good life. She said she wanted her family to go to church and she wanted to protect her children from all the things she's had to endure during her life. I think this is wonderful goal.
Jesus was patient, loving and kind. He was a friend to all, especially sinners. I'm so glad He was a friend of mine! I am looking forward to the day Rainey and Stephan both surrender their lives totally to Him. So, while I am trying to overcome the fact that we live in WI, so far, far, far away from one son and his family. I am so grateful that my other son is here with me trying to overcome the world. We are in a battle.... a huge one. One that we can't see. I think that God has huge plans for Stephan's life. I really do. Perhaps this is why there is such a war going on....
Christ overcame and He gives us power to overcome. Lord reign down over us and protect us and guide us.
But back to what I was saying, they were here for 9 days. We went to the Milwaukee Zoo, The Children's Museum, The Domes- a horticulture museum. We went to an authentic Columbian restaurant. Brandon and Ellie took our pass to the Harley Museum on a date. We went to the Mall and many places we'd wanted to show them! It was so much fun having my family here. My life was absolutely complete! Stephan and Rainey came over too... It was the best 9 days spent in a long time! It got even better: They left Jeremiah behind with me and Richard for 10 whole extra days when they went back home. That little Rascal- I could eat him to pieces! He is my love... we had so much fun. I took so many pictures and videos! He was so much fun!
We flew back to Alabama with Jeremiah and stayed there for about a week. I believe we were with Jeremiah for 24 whole days!!!! It was Heaven! Andrew is still having to be with Mommy, so I didn't get to keep him too, but I would've!!!! : ) Andrew is the squishiest little bundle of pure goodness! I could eat his cheeks off! I love holding and cuddling with him so much. After 24 days of Heaven- I had to fly back at some point. They always go to the airport with us and parting is such sweet sorrow. It's like leaving a part of me behind. It's almost too much. I try to readjust as we board the plane. By the time we are in Atlanta, reality has set in once again. When I feel the cool Wisconsin air I should feel home, but I don't.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I texted Rainey the other day- actually, she and I exchanged about 50 texts.. I was really able to talk to her about Jesus more than ever before. She has really grown over the last year of being here. She wrote Richard and I a text not too long back that she was so glad to be here in WI with us and that being here, being in church and having us in her life was impacting her life like never before. Little does she know that it's not us... it's Christ in us! She said we were amazing people.... but no.... HE is amazing! I pray earnestly that she will come to know Him soon. As we were talking about events that have happened in her life, she opened up to me again about a lot of things and I asked her when she wanted me to pray with her to receive Christ. You see, this is the second time this opportunity has happened, but she just won't. Not yet.... I gave her some scripture to chew on and told her today was the day of salvation. I will continue praying towards it.
I did ask Rainey what her goals in life were... She said she wanted to marry Stephan, have a family and live a good life. She said she wanted her family to go to church and she wanted to protect her children from all the things she's had to endure during her life. I think this is wonderful goal.
Jesus was patient, loving and kind. He was a friend to all, especially sinners. I'm so glad He was a friend of mine! I am looking forward to the day Rainey and Stephan both surrender their lives totally to Him. So, while I am trying to overcome the fact that we live in WI, so far, far, far away from one son and his family. I am so grateful that my other son is here with me trying to overcome the world. We are in a battle.... a huge one. One that we can't see. I think that God has huge plans for Stephan's life. I really do. Perhaps this is why there is such a war going on....
Christ overcame and He gives us power to overcome. Lord reign down over us and protect us and guide us.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Work In Progress.....
Stephan got his license back a week ago. Like I said, he had a wreck and got a DUI a while back. Since then, he's made the decision not to drink liquor again. He's quit for a while, started back, so now, he said he was only drinking beer..... and doing so only on the weekends and only at home. no more drinking and driving. Sometimes he drinks too much beer. Stephan is loud when he's had too much beer and his neighbors have been involved a few times as I've mentioned. Not good.......
Since he and his dad have been working out, Stephan said that beer has too many calories now and he wants to drink liquor again.... but only on the weekends and only at home. His waffling back and forth puts me on my knees quite often! If I'm not on my knees, I pray wherever I am- cleaning the shower, vacuuming... wherever! The Lord does not mind where I talk to Him! I actually scrub harder when I'm praying for Stephan....
If I lived in a perfect world where I could make decisions for my Stephan and he would actually listen I'd have him not drinking at all and he would like it!
I look back through the years by way of posts on this blog and I am so grateful that we are not where we were. We've come away from hard drugs and now we're dealing with alcohol, but I am thankful to my God daily that we've walked a few hundred miles and are not where we were.
Stephan came over yesterday to work out before Richard got home and we talked for about 30 minutes (while his pre-workout kicked in.) It's wonderful to have him in our basement caring about his health. He and Rainey have even stopped drinking soft drinks! They drink the liquor- but not Dr. Pepper! I have to insert a little smile here.... While some things are good, other things are not, over all- things are really, really good.
Stephan is still working hard and has built his credit up enough to purchase this other car he just bought all on his own. He totaled the last one in the wreck. This has been 5 cars he has totaled... I may not have mentioned the forth car he wrecked. He drove it off into a hole down at the driving range one night. That was eventful! He was drunk-- and just drove.. it.. off.. into.. a.. hole! He called Richard to come pull him out and when Richard got there, all he could see was Stephan's head and his eyes peering at him from the pit his car had disappeared in. When Richard walked over, he was only able to see the back end of the car sticking up out of the mire!!! Pulling it out was not an option!! They called a wrecker to avoid cops, another DUI, and of course, lost the money in his car that the insurance company would have covered if it had been a legitimate accident!
So anyway, back to the latest car-- We went to the dealership with him and he actually sat there with a calculator in hand, making sure he could afford the car and the insurance along with all his other bills before signing on the dotted line. I was very proud of him for making sure he could pay all of his bills before he bought the car!
We are still a work in progress here.... I pray to the Lord to use me in Rainey's life. I pray he uses Richard and I both in Stephan's life and hers. They continue to go to church with us. I am most grateful for that!!!!!!
Since he and his dad have been working out, Stephan said that beer has too many calories now and he wants to drink liquor again.... but only on the weekends and only at home. His waffling back and forth puts me on my knees quite often! If I'm not on my knees, I pray wherever I am- cleaning the shower, vacuuming... wherever! The Lord does not mind where I talk to Him! I actually scrub harder when I'm praying for Stephan....
If I lived in a perfect world where I could make decisions for my Stephan and he would actually listen I'd have him not drinking at all and he would like it!
I look back through the years by way of posts on this blog and I am so grateful that we are not where we were. We've come away from hard drugs and now we're dealing with alcohol, but I am thankful to my God daily that we've walked a few hundred miles and are not where we were.
Stephan came over yesterday to work out before Richard got home and we talked for about 30 minutes (while his pre-workout kicked in.) It's wonderful to have him in our basement caring about his health. He and Rainey have even stopped drinking soft drinks! They drink the liquor- but not Dr. Pepper! I have to insert a little smile here.... While some things are good, other things are not, over all- things are really, really good.
Stephan is still working hard and has built his credit up enough to purchase this other car he just bought all on his own. He totaled the last one in the wreck. This has been 5 cars he has totaled... I may not have mentioned the forth car he wrecked. He drove it off into a hole down at the driving range one night. That was eventful! He was drunk-- and just drove.. it.. off.. into.. a.. hole! He called Richard to come pull him out and when Richard got there, all he could see was Stephan's head and his eyes peering at him from the pit his car had disappeared in. When Richard walked over, he was only able to see the back end of the car sticking up out of the mire!!! Pulling it out was not an option!! They called a wrecker to avoid cops, another DUI, and of course, lost the money in his car that the insurance company would have covered if it had been a legitimate accident!
So anyway, back to the latest car-- We went to the dealership with him and he actually sat there with a calculator in hand, making sure he could afford the car and the insurance along with all his other bills before signing on the dotted line. I was very proud of him for making sure he could pay all of his bills before he bought the car!
We are still a work in progress here.... I pray to the Lord to use me in Rainey's life. I pray he uses Richard and I both in Stephan's life and hers. They continue to go to church with us. I am most grateful for that!!!!!!
Feeling a little Blah....
It's April here in Wisconsin and I'm still waiting on spring. The snow has melted and I can see traces of green grass here and there if I look closely. I long to go outdoors, look up to the sky, close my eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on my face as I breathe in the fragrant scent of spring.... That would have been nice today. Instead, I sat wrapped in my heated blanket in this stupid chair I'm sitting in now. I found myself in a hard place today. I've cried.... I've feel lonely..... I feel defeated.
We've been attending a church here for quite a while. We've been going for like a year and a half. Well, ever since we visited and left the "smaller" church I've mentioned in previous posts. The church is huge. There's 5 services. One Friday, one Saturday and three on Sundays. Richard had lunch with one of the pastors there and had coffee with another and not once did either of them follow up him. When Richard met with our pastor in Alabama, they had lunch- then Richard was helping him co-teach his Sunday school class. He and his wife discipled us and got us plugged in and serving immediately!!! It was also a huge church (that was also in the south.) I find it very hard to make friends here, find connections here or like church here. People are just.... I'm so sorry.... but rude. I can't say that about everyone.... I've ran into nice people with friendly smiles, but majority of people are really rude, or perhaps it just seems that way. Maybe it's a cultural thing. You've heard of "Southern Hospitality." Now that I'm separated from the good ole south, I now see what all the hype is about the friendliness of the south! It's true. People there are kind and nice and won't let the door slam in your face! People in the south hold the door for the next person if they are close enough to grab it. Sometimes, people in the south hold it long enough for you to grab the door even if they see you coming. Chivalry does not exist in Wisconsin. Or at least that's the way I feel today. Too many people have let the door slam in my face, run over me with their shopping cart and almost hit me with their car! People will walk right in between me and the grocery shelf to get what they want instead of waiting until I make my selection since I was there first. It's like I'm invisible! If (I) do not move- I will get hit or forced out of the way. I don't know the rules here. If two local people are headed toward one another with their shopping carts who moves out of the way? I actually had three very heavy grocery bags in my hands, my purse on my shoulder and was pulling my shopping cart to the place where you put it away and a man (carrying NOTHING) was walking toward me. The area where we were both supposed to pass was very narrow, but I kept going, because I had a lot of weight that I was carrying. He kept walking and so did I... finally- he moved out of the way and stood there giving me an evil look as if he were thinking, "Are you kidding me!!!" Maybe I should have just dropped all my things right there in the floor and let the stupid man get by me! Men in the south do NOT do that! They would grab my cart and offer to put it away for me once they noticed that I had such a heavy load! That's the problem-- No one notices.
Ok, my rant is over....
My son, Brandon and his family are coming up on the 18th! I can hardly wait. Jeremiah is 2 now and little Andrew is 4 months! I'm trying to plan things to do. I really am hoping it's warm enough to go to the Zoo.
Stephan and Rainey were over this past weekend. We went to church. It was Easter Sunday. The service was good, but again, not a lot of focus on the cross, Christ and salvation. I guess what I meant by good- (the service was good) was that it "was" a good message.... just not leading people toward salvation which is what I expected. I guess Christ is a southern thing too.. my, my...
Stephan and Richard have been working out together. Stephan has gained about 53 pounds since being here! : ) He's trying to loose a little now! Ha Ha! He is 6 foot tall and got up to about 185, which is still a great weight for him! He doesn't like his little bit of belly fat. LOL!
Rainey and I sat and printed out recipes that she wanted from my "loose recipe" book. This book is a 3 ring binder where I have placed all my loose recipes in page protectors inside. I have them organized and categorized. I cook A LOT! I love cooking.... My most recent fascination is with Julia Child. She is my latest inspiration. I made her Beef Bourguignon a few weeks ago. Holy Smoly.... Oh my gracious... Richard said it was on the list of his top 5 favorite things he's ever put in his mouth! This week, I am making Coq Au Vin. Can't wait!!!! I have to pour myself into something, right? Why not French cooking!
Rainey has quite a big interest in cooking herself. It's something that we have found we have in common and she asks me questions and has started cooking at home. She made buffalo chicken sliders and said they were out of this world! I was very proud of her. It's awesome to see her trying new things and exploring new territory.
Ok, my rant is over....
My son, Brandon and his family are coming up on the 18th! I can hardly wait. Jeremiah is 2 now and little Andrew is 4 months! I'm trying to plan things to do. I really am hoping it's warm enough to go to the Zoo.
Stephan and Rainey were over this past weekend. We went to church. It was Easter Sunday. The service was good, but again, not a lot of focus on the cross, Christ and salvation. I guess what I meant by good- (the service was good) was that it "was" a good message.... just not leading people toward salvation which is what I expected. I guess Christ is a southern thing too.. my, my...
Stephan and Richard have been working out together. Stephan has gained about 53 pounds since being here! : ) He's trying to loose a little now! Ha Ha! He is 6 foot tall and got up to about 185, which is still a great weight for him! He doesn't like his little bit of belly fat. LOL!
Rainey and I sat and printed out recipes that she wanted from my "loose recipe" book. This book is a 3 ring binder where I have placed all my loose recipes in page protectors inside. I have them organized and categorized. I cook A LOT! I love cooking.... My most recent fascination is with Julia Child. She is my latest inspiration. I made her Beef Bourguignon a few weeks ago. Holy Smoly.... Oh my gracious... Richard said it was on the list of his top 5 favorite things he's ever put in his mouth! This week, I am making Coq Au Vin. Can't wait!!!! I have to pour myself into something, right? Why not French cooking!
Rainey has quite a big interest in cooking herself. It's something that we have found we have in common and she asks me questions and has started cooking at home. She made buffalo chicken sliders and said they were out of this world! I was very proud of her. It's awesome to see her trying new things and exploring new territory.
Friday, January 9, 2015
Catching Up!
I seriously can't believe it's been over 8 months since I've updated my blog. Wow, a lot has changed since my last post. In September, I celebrated my 43rd birthday. Gosh, am I that old? We went to Alabama in November to welcome our second grandchild into the world. There's nothing in the world like grandchildren : ) My oldest just turned 2 in January and now the youngest is over a month old now. Time sure does fly. We also went to Alabama for Christmas... What a joyful time.
Golly gee, where do I start? Last time I posted on here Rainey still lived in Alabama. She moved up here to Wisconsin to be with Stephan during the summer. He moved out of our place before she arrived into his own apartment, which is near the plant where he works. It may have been May or June when she got here. If you remember in previous posts, we were charging Stephan rent, which we were saving for him and all of his money he had saved was readily available for his deposit and other things he needed.
After Rainey moved, we didn't see Stephan as much for a few weeks. I was ok with that. I know he's got to establish his home here with her. I also felt in my heart that Rainey felt uncomfortable at our home. Maybe she felt as if we would judge her for marijuana being a part of who she was... She knew we were Christians and strong in our faith, but I wanted her to know us and our hearts. Except for the grace of God- there goes I, right? We're not the judge, nor are we perfect... I don't want to imagine what my own life would be without Christ!
Now that Rainey was here, she was part of our family. That was just the way I felt. I prayed and was honest with God... I don't want Stephan drinking. I don't want her smoking pot... I want my son and the girl he loves to have life as easy and as pain free as possible. I think we all want that for our kids. I saw the strongholds in their life as being something that was holding them back from experiencing life at its fullest. It was also holding them back from who they could become. Hiding all this in my heart, I knew I was on a mission field. A bigger one!
For those first few weeks- maybe two weeks. Stephan and Rainey did not attend church with us. I had expected that they wouldn't, however, I did not loose hope. I remember one day Stephan calling us and asking us if we wanted to go play tennis with them across from where we lived! They drove over and we walked to the tennis courts. I had never played tennis a day in my life, but couldn't wait to try! We really had a wonderful time! Richard and Stephan are so dang competitive! Plus, either of them could be stand up comedian's!! All of us cutting up made for such a great time that day. I think maybe Rainey realized that day that we weren't these stiff necked, stick in the mud parents, or atleast I hope she did.
It wasn't long after that day that we played tennis again... and again. We've went down to Lake Michigan three times now. Twice last summer... the last time we took a picnic. It was Rainey's idea. We also went down to the lake during the first snow. It was really cool being at the Lake, which looks like the ocean, with snow on the ground. We've went to play putt putt together twice. We've went to a park and walked, looking at the river and the geese. Most importantly, after those first few weeks, Stephan and Rainey both started attending church with us and have only missed a few Sunday's since. It's been an awesome ride.... We all go out to lunch when church services are over and they both usually wind up coming back to our house to spend the evening. We watch movies... Richard taught Stephan how to play chess. Everything goes great as long as Stephan wins!!!! Holy cow! He cracks me up! Rainey and I talk or watch movies. It's nice having a girl around and we are getting close...
Rainey was here for about 3 months before she found a job. She had to stop smoking pot and she did. She actually wound up talking to me about pot and it's effects on the human body even before she started applying for a job and that is really what seemed to break the ice in our relationship. You know, I wasn't hard on her... I didn't give her all my thought out advice. I did talk about how smoking it was harmful and most of all, it's illegal. I talked to her about taking care of her body... I'm one of these weird, all organic, non-toxic people who cares deeply for my health to the point that I study about holistic medicine and all-natural this, that and the other all the time! I did talk to her about my relationship with God as well. She told me that she didn't want to smoke pot forever, but she also thought that it was ok to have it legalized to use for medicinal purposes! Oh me...
She told me she had to take one day at a time... I totally agree... Rome wasn't built in a day.
God extended His grace upon me the day I was saved and took me on a journey to where I am now... and there's more to come! I have so much more to learn myself... If God can use me to get her started, she will also be on the most exciting journey she's ever been on.
I love to cook! My husband says that I should be a chef : ) Of course he's bias.... and has to say those things if he wants to eat, but I admit, I can make a few killer dishes! Rainey wanted to learn how to make one of my chicken dishes, so I told her to come over. When she arrived, I was her guide, but she made the chicken all by herself and it was great!
She called one day to see if I'd meet her for lunch, so we met at Jersey Mikes! She's sent me some Pin's in Pinterest and wanted me to help her make some gifts for her family for Christmas. We had a really great time putting those together. We laughed and talked as I helped her.
Stephan and Rainey come over about 3-4 times a week to hang out : ) I sometimes think it's so cool that they want to hang out with us so much... but then.... they also eat dinner every time they come! Either we are cool or my cooking is- either way- I am honored they come! Ha Ha! Stephan and Richard have also began to work out together. They're really having fun with that! Stephan's gained almost 50 pounds now and he looks great!
Although these last several months have been great, we have had a few tough times as well. Stephan is still drinking beer and just can't drink two. He and Rainey got into a fight at their apartment, he was drunk and so was she, so the cops were called. About 12am one morning, I got a call from Rainey telling me Stephan was in jail! JAIL!! I thought we had left all that in Alabama!!! All I could think to say when we hung up was, "Oh dear Lord God... and Richard's out of town!" He was, he was in NC on business. Sigh.....................
When Stephan got the job that he's currently at, he had to volunteer to take random drug tests whenever the president of the company wanted him too. If you're new to this blog, my husband Richard is the plant manager where Stephan they both work and it's by the grace of God that Stephan got the job there! If Stephan doesn't show up for work because he was in jail, he would automatically loose his job! Rainey said he could be bailed out... and told me that Stephan had the money to bail himself out, but he needed me to come pick him up. I went down there... At 12am the place looked closed, but I knew it wasn't! I walked in to where I saw a security camera glaring down upon me! An officer came inside and I told him who I was here for. I have to say, situations like this have a way of making you feel about a half inch tall. I wondered if the officer thought I looked like a scumbag mom. Then I thought- who cares-- I'm at the jail! It doesn't get much worse than this anyway, so why worry about it!
Stephan paid his bail, but I brought him home with (me!) He was in no shape to return home with Rainey!! He was drunk and not that it did any good that night, but we had a really good heart to heart that I prayed he would remember in the morning- at least bits and pieces!
Stephan has also wrecked and totaled another car during this time of absence from blogging. Stephan has a court date now and has lost his license for 6 months... So now, Rainey is having to take him to work or he has to get a ride.
He and Rainey were also in another altercation where the neighbors were involved, called the police... blah, blah... end of story- Stephan was charged with a domestic dispute, not by Rainey, but by a neighbor. He's awaiting a court date for that! Alcohol makes him a different person. Tangled webs..............
Positive!! --He is paying his bills on time and never asks for anything. I am really proud of him in this area! I think it took wrecking his car (again) and going to jail (again) to make him realize he needed to make some changes (again!) Stephan is just the kind of guy who has to learn from his mistakes, he can't do anything the easy way.
I see little changes daily... better decisions made at times and caring a little more about his health as time goes by. I see Rainey trying to keep house, decorate and make weekly menu's. I gave her a print out that I use that helps me a lot! She shops with it now. I see her becoming more established here and enjoying spending time with us. She laughs and jokes with us. Sometimes I can't believe they like hanging out with us so much! Again- it may be the food! Ha Ha! Where we are now at this moment in time and even after all the above has happened, it's definitely better than where we were when I started this blog. We try to love Stephan with the love that God bestows on us ourselves. He's a great kid! He's come a long way.
Golly gee, where do I start? Last time I posted on here Rainey still lived in Alabama. She moved up here to Wisconsin to be with Stephan during the summer. He moved out of our place before she arrived into his own apartment, which is near the plant where he works. It may have been May or June when she got here. If you remember in previous posts, we were charging Stephan rent, which we were saving for him and all of his money he had saved was readily available for his deposit and other things he needed.
After Rainey moved, we didn't see Stephan as much for a few weeks. I was ok with that. I know he's got to establish his home here with her. I also felt in my heart that Rainey felt uncomfortable at our home. Maybe she felt as if we would judge her for marijuana being a part of who she was... She knew we were Christians and strong in our faith, but I wanted her to know us and our hearts. Except for the grace of God- there goes I, right? We're not the judge, nor are we perfect... I don't want to imagine what my own life would be without Christ!
Now that Rainey was here, she was part of our family. That was just the way I felt. I prayed and was honest with God... I don't want Stephan drinking. I don't want her smoking pot... I want my son and the girl he loves to have life as easy and as pain free as possible. I think we all want that for our kids. I saw the strongholds in their life as being something that was holding them back from experiencing life at its fullest. It was also holding them back from who they could become. Hiding all this in my heart, I knew I was on a mission field. A bigger one!
For those first few weeks- maybe two weeks. Stephan and Rainey did not attend church with us. I had expected that they wouldn't, however, I did not loose hope. I remember one day Stephan calling us and asking us if we wanted to go play tennis with them across from where we lived! They drove over and we walked to the tennis courts. I had never played tennis a day in my life, but couldn't wait to try! We really had a wonderful time! Richard and Stephan are so dang competitive! Plus, either of them could be stand up comedian's!! All of us cutting up made for such a great time that day. I think maybe Rainey realized that day that we weren't these stiff necked, stick in the mud parents, or atleast I hope she did.
It wasn't long after that day that we played tennis again... and again. We've went down to Lake Michigan three times now. Twice last summer... the last time we took a picnic. It was Rainey's idea. We also went down to the lake during the first snow. It was really cool being at the Lake, which looks like the ocean, with snow on the ground. We've went to play putt putt together twice. We've went to a park and walked, looking at the river and the geese. Most importantly, after those first few weeks, Stephan and Rainey both started attending church with us and have only missed a few Sunday's since. It's been an awesome ride.... We all go out to lunch when church services are over and they both usually wind up coming back to our house to spend the evening. We watch movies... Richard taught Stephan how to play chess. Everything goes great as long as Stephan wins!!!! Holy cow! He cracks me up! Rainey and I talk or watch movies. It's nice having a girl around and we are getting close...
Rainey was here for about 3 months before she found a job. She had to stop smoking pot and she did. She actually wound up talking to me about pot and it's effects on the human body even before she started applying for a job and that is really what seemed to break the ice in our relationship. You know, I wasn't hard on her... I didn't give her all my thought out advice. I did talk about how smoking it was harmful and most of all, it's illegal. I talked to her about taking care of her body... I'm one of these weird, all organic, non-toxic people who cares deeply for my health to the point that I study about holistic medicine and all-natural this, that and the other all the time! I did talk to her about my relationship with God as well. She told me that she didn't want to smoke pot forever, but she also thought that it was ok to have it legalized to use for medicinal purposes! Oh me...
She told me she had to take one day at a time... I totally agree... Rome wasn't built in a day.
God extended His grace upon me the day I was saved and took me on a journey to where I am now... and there's more to come! I have so much more to learn myself... If God can use me to get her started, she will also be on the most exciting journey she's ever been on.
I love to cook! My husband says that I should be a chef : ) Of course he's bias.... and has to say those things if he wants to eat, but I admit, I can make a few killer dishes! Rainey wanted to learn how to make one of my chicken dishes, so I told her to come over. When she arrived, I was her guide, but she made the chicken all by herself and it was great!
She called one day to see if I'd meet her for lunch, so we met at Jersey Mikes! She's sent me some Pin's in Pinterest and wanted me to help her make some gifts for her family for Christmas. We had a really great time putting those together. We laughed and talked as I helped her.
Stephan and Rainey come over about 3-4 times a week to hang out : ) I sometimes think it's so cool that they want to hang out with us so much... but then.... they also eat dinner every time they come! Either we are cool or my cooking is- either way- I am honored they come! Ha Ha! Stephan and Richard have also began to work out together. They're really having fun with that! Stephan's gained almost 50 pounds now and he looks great!
Although these last several months have been great, we have had a few tough times as well. Stephan is still drinking beer and just can't drink two. He and Rainey got into a fight at their apartment, he was drunk and so was she, so the cops were called. About 12am one morning, I got a call from Rainey telling me Stephan was in jail! JAIL!! I thought we had left all that in Alabama!!! All I could think to say when we hung up was, "Oh dear Lord God... and Richard's out of town!" He was, he was in NC on business. Sigh.....................
When Stephan got the job that he's currently at, he had to volunteer to take random drug tests whenever the president of the company wanted him too. If you're new to this blog, my husband Richard is the plant manager where Stephan they both work and it's by the grace of God that Stephan got the job there! If Stephan doesn't show up for work because he was in jail, he would automatically loose his job! Rainey said he could be bailed out... and told me that Stephan had the money to bail himself out, but he needed me to come pick him up. I went down there... At 12am the place looked closed, but I knew it wasn't! I walked in to where I saw a security camera glaring down upon me! An officer came inside and I told him who I was here for. I have to say, situations like this have a way of making you feel about a half inch tall. I wondered if the officer thought I looked like a scumbag mom. Then I thought- who cares-- I'm at the jail! It doesn't get much worse than this anyway, so why worry about it!
Stephan paid his bail, but I brought him home with (me!) He was in no shape to return home with Rainey!! He was drunk and not that it did any good that night, but we had a really good heart to heart that I prayed he would remember in the morning- at least bits and pieces!
Stephan has also wrecked and totaled another car during this time of absence from blogging. Stephan has a court date now and has lost his license for 6 months... So now, Rainey is having to take him to work or he has to get a ride.
He and Rainey were also in another altercation where the neighbors were involved, called the police... blah, blah... end of story- Stephan was charged with a domestic dispute, not by Rainey, but by a neighbor. He's awaiting a court date for that! Alcohol makes him a different person. Tangled webs..............
Positive!! --He is paying his bills on time and never asks for anything. I am really proud of him in this area! I think it took wrecking his car (again) and going to jail (again) to make him realize he needed to make some changes (again!) Stephan is just the kind of guy who has to learn from his mistakes, he can't do anything the easy way.
I see little changes daily... better decisions made at times and caring a little more about his health as time goes by. I see Rainey trying to keep house, decorate and make weekly menu's. I gave her a print out that I use that helps me a lot! She shops with it now. I see her becoming more established here and enjoying spending time with us. She laughs and jokes with us. Sometimes I can't believe they like hanging out with us so much! Again- it may be the food! Ha Ha! Where we are now at this moment in time and even after all the above has happened, it's definitely better than where we were when I started this blog. We try to love Stephan with the love that God bestows on us ourselves. He's a great kid! He's come a long way.
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