Becoming A Godly Husband

Richard was out of town two weeks ago. He left early Sunday morning and it was Mother's Day. Richard flew into Raleigh, NC and was going to spend time with his mother before having to be at work in Greensboro Monday morning. Stephan and I had decided to spend the day together also! I was getting ready for church and Stephan and I were going to meet there. All of a sudden, I heard the door bell ring- along with Stephan's signature knock! I answered the door and he had brought me flowers! He was happy and bubbly... We went to put them in water and as I turned around he presented me with the sweetest, heart felt note.

"Happy Mother's Day Mommy : ) As I can already see this note is slanting.. I had no real paper. LOL! But today is a special day for you! You went through the holding me and Brandon in your stomach for nine months and through pain of having us to share each other's company in this world OR just so we could take care of you when you get old HAHA!!! No, no, I'm kidding.. Honestly, on a serious note you were, and still are the best mom a guy could ask for. You are a great role model, mom, wife, cook- (yummy) : )  Not a speck of meanness to you. You are one of my best friends. Family is everything to you and that is special! One day, Me, You, Dad,  Brandon, Ellie and the kids- PS- my wife and kids- finger's crossed : ) will live close happily ever after. I just know God would want that for us. Happy Mother's day again. Tomorrow will be lots of fun!
Love- Your Son- AKA- Stephan the Great!"

I teared up and give him a big hug... We went to church and I sat there looking at him a few times just grateful he was with me. I guess ever so often I have this De ja Vu moment to where I remember how things used to be and all of a sudden, I am sitting there staring at my son - in church - with me! It felt surreal...

Stephan and I went to Metro Market to pick up a few things. I got a rotisserie chicken and we took it home and ate it with left overs for lunch. We had big plans for the day! We were going to take a picnic down to Lake Michigan and sit on the shore, build a fire, eat and make s'mores! Talk about a perfect Mother's Day!

During lunch, Stephan talked non-stop about God and how he didn't do a good job of being the leader in his and Rainey's relationship. He said, "You know, I told her we weren't going to drink during the week and when she brought it in, I caved. I should have been the man- the leader, you know?" He said, "I failed in our relationship!"  I talked to him about the role of a husband and how it "was" his responsibility to lead his home, but being that he wasn't a "husband," not really, because they weren't married, I said, "the whole relationship was outside of God's will."  I did tell him that perhaps this was a learning process- and ultimately- he WAS right on track! He is supposed to be the leader!

Rainey wasn't much of a follower though. I told him that I believed she wasn't willing to follow him, because she had her own beliefs and opinions and they didn't line up with scripture! She had been told what was right, but wasn't willing to make God's word the authority of her life. She was her authority. She wasn't ready or willing to follow God, so how could she follow Stephan who wanted to try to follow God? They were unequally yoked, with one person- Rainey, unwilling to yoke herself to Christ.

I told Stephan that he needed to determine what kind of woman he wanted to marry and try to find that person. I told him a story of our pastor in Alabama... When he and his wife were discipling us, they told us about their college days. Doug was known as a player... LOL! (Our pastor) haha... He was known to take a girl out a few times, then never call her again! When Katy had been asked out by him, everybody warned her that he would dump her after a few dates. Katy went anyway...  They've been married somewhere in the vicinity of 40 years now. : )  Katy told me that Doug was studying to be a pastor and he was looking for a woman as committed to the Lord as he was and was willing to minister alongside him as a pastor's wife! Katy wanted the same things out of life as Doug and he found someone who was wanting the same things out of life as he was...to serve God. He really wasn't a "player," he was just looking for the right woman "for him!" No need in wasting time on other people headed in another direction!

I told Stephan he needed to find someone headed in the same direction as he was... Someone willing to follow God and trust him as the leader of their home. Stephan's response to that was: "I'm gonna have to start reading books!" LOL! I laughed... and then I gave him some ideas.

He's reading a book now by Andy Andrews. I forget the name, but he already read, The Noticer by him. Stephan loved that book!

As Stephan and I drove to Lake Michigan our day was everything I'd hoped it would be. We built a fire, ate hot dogs, corn on the cob, and made S'mores! The weather was perfect! It was just a perfect day. I couldn't have asked for more....

Brandon also called me later that Sunday afternoon and I was able to talk to him. We had a wonderful conversation. I seriously have the best boys a mother could ask for... Sorry to all you other mothers out there... but I do. : ) My cup runneth over....